bakeowski came about in a bout of cannibis inspired frantic scribblinG. yeah, du-uu-uude
like charles bukowski except he gets BAKED man
and its sorta a hybrid between you and your favorite authors name yer last name aand all and it just works on so many levelS.

i was a drunk waiter when a couple came into the bar where i worked after dropping out of college the first timE.
the cooks and i would kill takeout sixpacks when the owner went downstairs to get things from the office or store rooM.
the owner would check the fridge for sixpacks, so we had to kill all six each time, sometimes one cook sometimes twO.
i got really good at drinking beer fast, which pays off in so many ways and in so many social settingS.
thats why i started "chugaluggy with mr. rugby" friday nite seminars on drinking beer fast and manly thingS.
a survival seminar for city stranded country fucks such as myselF.
before i became a nigger, i became a redneck, spending some years in fresh air that changed my reality with all that nature and shiT.
then i moved to the city and used a word that cam only be used by "uS"
but the otherr party in the conversation did not recognize my credentials, my certificate of niggerdom had expired, so i became unemployeD.
in a tearful moment of after schoool special bonding between a young man and his teacher and softball coach, robert johnson (probably his real name)said to me,
"mr baker,
dont take this the wrong way but, youre my nigger"

it was the nicest thing a kid in a school ever said to mE.
then i get fired for saying it
i should have called him into the office for my hearing with those scowling all business bitches from the schoolboard who were so happy to have caught themselves a racis, so happy to rid the school system of a monster who had fnally showed his true colorS.

anyway

im doing my first ever "drunk waiter show" and it goes pretty well, people think it funny that during brunches im drinking as much champagne as their table is and when skip the cook is working im chugging lots of beerS.
this couple think that i should read this bukowski dude and i ask my dad about the author and he says oh shiT.
so i knew it had to be gooD.
the college professor wasnt interested in discussing this author at all....hmmmm.
so i think thats why my mom enrolled me in kutztowN.
i was living in fairmont, walking the same streets buke was when he was fetching sandwiches and writing brutal prose...
i get a call one day from my mom, pack, you start college again on monday...
and there i was...
discovering rugby, becoming sexy, and trying hard not to graduate...
but thats another story, this is a shout out to charles bukowski, read love is a dog from hell, war all the time, woman, and play the piano drunk like a percusiion instrument until your fingers start to bleed a bit...
from the years before he qualified for the senior citizen early bird specials and wrote the same poem about
dying soon,
as the plane flies over his house
cats scattered at his feet...
before he was big in germany
and selling a screenplay and hobnobbing with sean penn.
back when he was survivng on guts, shitty beer and a negative attitude....
when life was his canvas and brutality was his medium he still created beauty
like compost
turning shit into flowers