my computer has been offline so much that ive been pen and papering things again which is weird
the few times i do find myself infront of a computer i am either too drunk to produce purposeful prose
or blocked
or pining for my lost love
which i think makes my blog worse
cuz the more i confront my heart
the bigger a pussy i seem to be

but every now and then i manage to string a few sentences together
just see how full of shit i am in this recent email to the woman i love

the woman who , mid love affair with me, let her exboyfriend
her emotionally abusive , recovering alchoholic boyfriend loser move back IN with her because he "has no where to go"

SEE the incredibly hilarious results in this weeks episode of

"dorky retired retarded rugby god in love"

americas latest underground hit

so, with your permission we will try dinner tuesday night again with no kissing andsee how painful that is
how can you be sure the triangle would not besatisfying?
life is a collection of momentsa series of events
events that can be beautiful or tiresome
i know i am in the presence of beauty when i sup withyou
i'd love to sup with you on a regular basis
i CAN behave
i just didnt want to because i hadnt seen you in solong and i missed you in the fiercest possible way
how fierce?
im not sure you want to know what i did to myself in apatch of darkness on the way home thinking about you
i am man enough to behave
and ill demonstrate that manly retraint next tuesdayat the same time if given a chance
i will also endeavor to keep the entendres to a
minimum
im going to pretend im froggy
and i come a'courtin
and its the 1850's and i must be a proper gentleman
my grandfather courted my grandmother for SIX YEARSi
t's in my genetic makeup to be patient for the womani love
who at last reckoning
was you
as terrible as you think you are its alot better than
not having any beauty in my life
ill take a potshard of magnificence
and hopefully will dig up another spectacular specimensoon
i'm not a quitter
im a believer
and i believe it doesnt do any justice to the word
love
if i quit on it as soon as the going gets alittle choppy
your eyes told me all i needed to know when they lit up and were all sparkly and alive when we were in close proximity talking and relating and loving each others company
i have been in such an incredible mood this week
which
i attributre to seeing you and lake michigant
wo natural wonderstwo lakes i could easily spend my life in and
parenthetically would not mind drowning in
i know the taste and texture of spiritual/physical life long loving
i have had excellent tutors in my parents
people who do not give up on their however difficult partner
and pussy that i was
i gave up on two fantastic women already
because i let my hurt and pride fuck with my head
i can take a beating
please beat me some more
is that all you got?
screams the man lashed to the mast
in the middle of the hurricane,
not as tom hanks did in that shittymovie in the dome
as VISIGOTHS did
you claim to love a visigoth
a self described latter-day rugby visigoth
so dont be surprised when i am as persistent as a visigoth
when i sack your city
and by sack you city i mean respectfully date you
and
spend time with one who lights me up like a pinballmachine
i will be a perfect gentleman on tuesday at the usualplace at the usual time
and lets just leave it at that
the fringe would feel like a date to me and i couldnot promise "best behavior"
the country is beautiful
i wish you were here
down by the creekwith a blanket