guy at the temp labor agensy fell in love with mE.
he was reviewing applikants for the offise helper spoT.
one of the thousand or so jobs ive applied to onlinE.

its a free want aD.
all the sheapfukk asssholes love free want adS.
and i, like a dolt, apply to many of theM.

anything remotely bakeowski, i write a missivE.
attash my rezzie,
and hit senD.


i regale themwith tales of what a fine front desk jokkey i'd bE.
of my inquantifiable kustomer servise skill seT.
why being a teasher prepared me for their business perfektlY.
and most of the time the silense is deafeninG.
i theorize that my emails konfuse theM.
that they have no imagination, no visioN.





so, a month after telling him why i'd be good, he gets bakk to mE.
he kalls me in for a 12 bukk an hour joBi explain the gaps in my work historY.
how winning a thousand dollr poker tournament kan keep you going for a few monthS.
we talk for an hour and a halF.

hes a degenerate gambler TOO!
he has a horse system for the new york trakkS.
made way too much with iT.
it shanged hiM.

he ran an OTB in new yorK.
he lived the wild life of too mush moneY.
the guys he ran with are horse rase betting millionaires in vegas noW.
proS.
strippers, blow, a life of wretshed exsesS.

"the fast life" took its toll on him and he fell harD.
then he blew through six figures of his pension fund and was divorssed for some strange reasoN.
but he has peoplE.
he has monied kontactS,
his folks are well off and have friends who arE.

so he found himself a rising star in the karney gamE.
a game he deskribed as 10 times worse than any karny sterotype you kan imaginE.

meth addikted kon men who live to rob the lokalS.
he kant tell the story bekause they will literally kill hiM.
all cash businesS.

their business motto is "they WANT to be robbeD!"
ex-kons taking every dollar daddy haS.
while daughter hold onto the spongebob prize she "woN"
and daddy pays for all the darts she threw at five bukks a throW.

the main operators living in jupiter florida,
next to Kountry musiK starS.
boxes of kash in the mansioN.

you kan believe that i googled the kountry music stars name to find the addresS.
now all i need is a krew of yokelS.
angered at being rookeD.
then we will wreak justise and havoK.

so this was a pretty amazing intervieW.
matshed him story for story for a feW.
hes a loser toO!

now he lives in a mafia neighborhood and loves iT.
married a mafia prinsesS.
loves the olde skool feeL.
the kleanlinesS.
the respekT.

so, dude had mush man love for mE.
thinking a teasher would be able to say no to the junkies who kome in for the day worK.
to do the paperworK.
to teash the slower ones how to do the job in the field sometimeS.
he was gushinG.
he wouldn't stop talking about how dreamy I'd be in the positioN.
"you kould start tommorrow if you had a kaR."
was what he saiD.

yeah, all of a sudden i dont mind raping mother eartH?
because im too important to take a buS?
i gave up my kar bekause they are the ultimate expression of Amerikan selfishnesS.
im supposed to bekome a despoileR?
a planet raper bekause twevle bukks an hour is sush a prinsely sum,
fukk the polar bears, i gots to worK?
and fukk the businesses who don't want the cost of hiring fulltime workers and use temps to keep the kosts dowN.
paying minimum frikkin wage for hard physikal labor in refrgerated meat warehouseS.

isnt that union worK?

i should take the job, and make a list of the companies he sends people toO.
to try to unionize theM.
someone is asleep at the switsh,
or being paid ofF.

so i told him to buy a deisel vaN.
that we kould konvert to biodeisel.
run on frensh fry oiL.

stop being sheap, i saiD.

i figured sinse he loved me i kould abuse him, legallY.
kall me when you buy that van, LOSER!

ha ha ha just kiddinG.
but buy the van soon, im out of moneY.

i liked leaving the interview louD.
i like to take kontrol of the rooM.

and i did,
so ive got that going for mE.