waiting for my muse in a dark alley with an aluminum bat

unedited pure neanderthal musings NeANDERThallus's DONut EDiT!!! historical records from my cave walls... brutality, menial labor, minor victories, hot sexy interludes....... 3 years on the edges of a society that i cant distance myself enough from

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since 2005 i've been picking at this keyboard. the thoughtstreams flow, who knows from whence they came, or to whence they go? enjoy the ride...... i am

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

i have two south facing windows and spend most of my non-computer time involved with them, soaking up the rays through the double-paned glass
its almost tropical
i sit with my jade tree, reading
all the little jade pieces that fell off, i rooted and all is fine
me and my plant and my plants kids
its a vacation from reality
or ill nap with my face in the sun on my bed in the other room
a little bit of south florida sun in south philly
at least it feels that way
i am in the middle of one of those runs of luck that happens from time to time
unless you believe in skill at the poker table that is
i keep winning
winning more than i can earn working for some fool somewhere
running someones business
i won 800 bucks today
i was about even for the day and pissed
pissed that i lost my profit of 120
pissed that the cards were turning on me
so i put it all on the table
460 bucks
soon i had 550 then 660
then a wonderful thing happened
a dude sits down with 600 and raises 24
dying for action i figure
he raises 24 bucks and i look at my tiny little 33 and say to myself, this is the kind of hand where you lose a little or take his stack
it would be a big probelm for me if the flop came out with one three an ace and another large card
id go broke that way
my three of a kind dominated by a larger three of a kind
so i prayed for two threes
and they came
i dont know the odds but i was shaking in excitement
he bet 55 bucks and i called
a ten came out and he bet 120
i raised 120
and he raised me 200
of course i raised all my chips
all of a sudden i have 1200 dollars in front of me
four threes
maybe ill get a tattoo
being the pragmatic sort i left the table before i could get tempted to screw it up
why mess with success
why not leave a big winner for a change
why not see what that feeling is like
and if i like it
i think i do
in the final analysis its just a number on a screen
but its also a plane ticket to amsterdam
and a laptop computer
and next months rent
and a reason not to look to hard for a job tommorow
but a real job will get me out of the house
and get me on the taxmans radar
and get me around people
ideally this poker would supplement my income
be a fun hobby that makes a little cash
now its my job i guess
this will be two months rent in a row from poker
feb and march
and three is right there in my account
and unless i pull a massive boner i will be a little ahead of the game for a bit
so if you call me and the phone is busy its because i am at work
im my own boss and my boss is an asshole
im not crazy yet
maybe the world is not the horrible place ive been imagining lately
maybe theres goodness and light
maybe a sucker catches a break every now and again

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