my highschool girlfriend and i pulled into a cornfield in my parents woodgrained stationwagoN
it was gonna happeN
the tender words had been spokeN
the rubber was oN
and the a whole lot of embarrassing quiet and frustration ensueD
i suppose if i had been cool enough to drink at this time in my life it would not have been such a mentally castrating experiencE
and i suppose if i had gone back to the roller rink to meet the girl from boyertown and smoked and talked scarily technical precision about her sexual dynamism i wouldnt have been in this predicament anywaY
but she was scary, all her talk of "suction" and me all of 15 and scared shitless and avoiding the roller rink for a month after thaT
so there we were, two virgins in the back of a station wagon, no liqour involveD
two extremely smart people who could not figure out how tab A fit into slot B
see this was before mtv destroyed and sexualized a generatioN
this was before pornos were widely available and even socially acceptablE
and we were a couple of dumb kids who just couldnt couplE
but we trieD
at my graduation party in my barn three people came by to drink the quarter keg of beer my dad had thoughtfully provideD
we took a blanket down to the creek and gave it another shoT
same result on the scoreboard of sex that all men carry with theM
home 0, visitors 0
game called on account of incompetencE
but there was an added level of humiliation to this failed launching of my love rockeT
poison ivy from the waist dowN
I called her, she had it toO
i guess we slipped off the blankiE
i had to wear a bathrobe for two weeks, as the rubbing of the maddeningly itchy rash would spead it morE
i think we tried again in the back of my dads new orange pickup trucK
i remember saying "i wanted to prove how much i loved heR"
by proving inept in the love departmenT
o for three, unsurvivable by my tender ego and of course i couldnt talk about it sanely in reasoned toneS
her talk of my size didnt make me anyless a virgin, so it was basically over from then on iN
i guess if i had a tinier weiner i coulda squeezed it in, shoulda coulda woodA
shortly thereafter i recieved a cat turd wrapped in a pretty box with a card that said "for your sweet tooth"
this was after inventing a beach girlfriend to show her what a man i waS
this was before i went to college and was mortally embarrassed yet again by the girls in college who finally took me over the hump but thats a different thoughtstreaM
this one has petered ouT
it was gonna happeN
the tender words had been spokeN
the rubber was oN
and the a whole lot of embarrassing quiet and frustration ensueD
i suppose if i had been cool enough to drink at this time in my life it would not have been such a mentally castrating experiencE
and i suppose if i had gone back to the roller rink to meet the girl from boyertown and smoked and talked scarily technical precision about her sexual dynamism i wouldnt have been in this predicament anywaY
but she was scary, all her talk of "suction" and me all of 15 and scared shitless and avoiding the roller rink for a month after thaT
so there we were, two virgins in the back of a station wagon, no liqour involveD
two extremely smart people who could not figure out how tab A fit into slot B
see this was before mtv destroyed and sexualized a generatioN
this was before pornos were widely available and even socially acceptablE
and we were a couple of dumb kids who just couldnt couplE
but we trieD
at my graduation party in my barn three people came by to drink the quarter keg of beer my dad had thoughtfully provideD
we took a blanket down to the creek and gave it another shoT
same result on the scoreboard of sex that all men carry with theM
home 0, visitors 0
game called on account of incompetencE
but there was an added level of humiliation to this failed launching of my love rockeT
poison ivy from the waist dowN
I called her, she had it toO
i guess we slipped off the blankiE
i had to wear a bathrobe for two weeks, as the rubbing of the maddeningly itchy rash would spead it morE
i think we tried again in the back of my dads new orange pickup trucK
i remember saying "i wanted to prove how much i loved heR"
by proving inept in the love departmenT
o for three, unsurvivable by my tender ego and of course i couldnt talk about it sanely in reasoned toneS
her talk of my size didnt make me anyless a virgin, so it was basically over from then on iN
i guess if i had a tinier weiner i coulda squeezed it in, shoulda coulda woodA
shortly thereafter i recieved a cat turd wrapped in a pretty box with a card that said "for your sweet tooth"
this was after inventing a beach girlfriend to show her what a man i waS
this was before i went to college and was mortally embarrassed yet again by the girls in college who finally took me over the hump but thats a different thoughtstreaM
this one has petered ouT
posted by bakeowski | 6:12 AM
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