this whole zen approach of mine confuses the women folk
i am expected to want steady work, with benefits
to pursue closeness with womenfolk by calling them and doing things
but women and jobs are like anchors
maybe thats what this drifting ship needs
an anchor in reality
this would qualify as outside forces controlling my life tho
my valuable free time would be appropriated for others gain
a boss who wants me to make him rich
a woman who wants me to make her happy
what do i want?
easy
to be left alone
ill call you
if i like your little job ill make a shiny pretty resume and prostrate myself before your working world altar
ill answer the interview questions expertly, exude energy and confidence
flash my baby-blues and warm smile
ill do the same for you chicks
i meet the right girl every now and then
i have been less than aggressive
trusting in fate to bring us together again
a nonpursuit
i can pursue
ive done it
but where does it get you?
broken souled and battered by the world
id rather just hang out for awhile
be a non factor
observe
plan
im a dangerous man when i have a plan
in my late twenties i had a goal
graduate college by thirty
i worked full time at the bar and played some fierce rugby
rugby is a full time job
practices twice a week filled with grunting and exertion and physical dominanace of your fellow man
then all day saturday with the game and the party
full time school filled my days and any leftover time was earning money
i slept about 4 hours a night
the bar shifts usually ended around three am
and sleep would not find me until 4 or later as you need time to relax your body and mind
and i managed to squeeze a few women in here and there
and it was perfect
no time for anything deep or heavy
just two ships that fucked in the night
but now planless
i have a notion or two
but notions do not demand your attention
notions do not get you out of bed after four hours of sleep
jam caffiene in your hand
and propel you out into the world again to do battle with the obstacles to your mission
yeah a mission
thats what i need
ill google mission on the internet
and see what i get
the google harry's mission
then maybe ill be done taking the first step into the glorious future
writing two hours a day seems like a good idea
ill start that today
see how long i can keep up the regimen
and maybe do a pushup or two for my body
so i guess the first writing exercise will be to define my mission statement
ill get to work on that
seems taht when i am not working for the man i should be working for me
that i need to define the mission of harryco
that to succeed my mind and body need to be on this level
that i pay myself with every pushup and syllable
hmmm
brainwashing,
programmed by me instead of some faceless corporation or government
initiate cranial sudsing
the detergent is time and reflection
and im just about into the rinse cycle
to get rid of the last few ideas that were inserted into my brain from the tv barrage of the last 40 years