til death do us part
ive seen some of that in action
man, does that look like fun....
one of my dogs, a homie from way back claims i cant understand it from the outside
i would counter, why get involved in something you cant understand?
i was there
i saw most of the ceremony
i heard the forsaking all others part
then i left to go have sex in the elevator with that little greek nurse while everyone hit the buffet line
i miss her
she was down for anything
sex on the beach at three in the afternoon under a blanket
geez
its a shame she was psycho
and liked to fight
cuz our libidos matched so perfectly
but that death do you part shit is some heavy heavy verbiage
or verbage
one of the previous was an actual word
one is the way my brain has heard it mispronounced
by intellectuals at conferences or seminars
im not a dictionary guy
look it up yourselves
anyway
my dog claims that people change
the theory is that they grow together
becoming this unit
this brave front against the cruel world
uniting against all others
protecting the family unitinsuring the continuation of the genetic line
the biological imperative linked with the church and state and laws
married people are so much easier to control
they have to takwe the whole familial unit into consideration when making any decision, no matter how trivial
like my brother john, for instance
cause he has two big drinkers for brothers, he is hounded by his wife for spending any time with us
"i had to watch the kids all day"
"thats inconsiderate"
"you could have called"
etc.
how much of this he brings upon himself is open to debate
hes been known to shift blame before
and me and my drunken bro are perfect targets of irresponsibility
its a cute little trick he plays
bitching to us about his shrew wife on monday
about us to her on tuesday
explaining the "family as a team" concept to us again on wednesday when sneaking out again
blaming us on thursday for the way things happened
which is cool
hes always blameless
hes always commiserating about the things that bug him
talking things out
seeming resonable to the present audience and then just as reasonably talking out of the other side of his mouth for the next audience
a life of blamelessness
he always seems reasonable
but we all know about the raging temper, the bouiling anger the frustration caused by being the little brother
i take full responsibility for creating this asshole
i teased him his whole life
i thought that was my job
to toughen him up
to make him fight the neighbor kid
he benefitted by being self assured in highschool
he was the king of his highschool because me and my bro toughened him up
and how does he thank us?
by lifting weights and getting ready for "the next time" that we are all together and drunk and his new strong body will make a difference
by picking up a door chime in the middle of a wrestling match that he started by poking my drunken brother in the face with a roll of paper towels when he was sitting down
bellowing when my brother actually pushes him back
a nice drunken wrestling match that both parties talked shit about for weeks about how they should have kicked the living shit out of each other
both forgetting in their blind rage that there were kids underfoot
i broke it up like the voice of reason that i am
but both of them start shit
so do i
but with each other there can be no winner
so these vows
these vows make you committed for life
heavy words
a lifetime commitment
ive seen the soulsearching that goes on when the drama is strong and unavoidable
yet they stayed together
when the going gets tough the tough stay married
ive seen people endure the seemingly unendurable
with the simple words
i made a lifetime commitment to____________
and simply honoring those words uttered in front of witnesses
people change, sure
but you are supposed to grow stronger in your bonding wit yer significant other and
make it work
not grow more selfish
the selfishness then comes into play for your kids and wife as you jealously guard their interests as your own
i aint that strong so i aint married

remember those words that you repeated to the priest and families
when the world gave you presents
in sympathy
"you married that..." (check as many as apply)
___bitch ___asshole ___drunk ___liar ___fool ___psycho ___gay cowboy
thats why they give you gifts
to soothe the burn
because when you marry into our family you have got to have thick skin
sometimes the wedding recetion is when the first inklings of trouble start to pop up their heads
why would you have an open bar at your wedding BEFORE THE CEREMONY?
didnt you notice what booze does to us?
what booze does to your husband?
he of the brother fighting and breaking of windows
bakers get drunk, curse and frequently walk long distances home
thats just what we do
an open bar before the wedding is BEGGING FOR TROUBLE
if i hadnt had a concussion that day i might have been making witty drunker comments too
i might have been hip enough to steal the spotlight and take the blame
i will take all blame for all things
and say "my bad" afterwards
my bad fixes everything
my bad are magic wors
MY BAD
as in my bad web log