south philly rock on sunday mornings in late fall as the mummers do their rehersals under interstate 95 for three hour practice sessions of dancing and music
mummers everywhere, hundreds of them, something you cant find anywhere in the world but on two street
and in todays glorious sunshine i had a vision
MUMMER ZEPPLIN
a medley of the meatiest parts of dazed and confused, whole lotta love
guitar solos replaced by the fat horn section
drums replaced by big honking brass sounds
get me to the mummers general council
nothing says over the top like rock and roll,
just add some mummers sequins and feathers
and put everyone in long blond jimmy page wigs and you got something there
this is a party that must happen
its my vision
you always tell kids to aim for the sky
well now i know what i was put on earth to do
so the next few sundays, ill loiter around srting bands rehearsals and meet the band directors and pitch them the idea
maybe have a few sketches, pick the exact music out
mummers always need money
mummer zepplin could do shows every weekend
once they get the solos down
it would totally rock, dude
youd sell a million cds
it would be the cross over sensation of the millenium
THIS HAS TO HAPPEN
and im gonna need them to do a party for me or two
once i start entertaining people professionally
this is the music for my viking funeral pyre
as my kayak is launched into the delaware
like in my favorite film from elementary school
paddle to the sea
where someone carves out a wooden indian in a canoe
and throws it into a creek and it eventually makes it to the ocean past all manner of pitfalls that little wooden carved boats are prone to in our industrialized times
ill contact the EPA for permisson and clearances to set my body aflame and to launch me as the philly bank of the delaware is lined with mummers in their zepp-attire
mummers play my theme music and i head to valhalla and those hot valkyrie chix and towards my next incarnation
after i stain the world with my mark this time around
and no amount of scrubbing will remove that stubborn stain to the universal conciousness
maybe seltzer
yeah,
a splash of seltzer should do it
"there ya go
good as new, dear"
"that smell?
thats just some silly flaming dead viking funeral"
"ahh, the winds shifting
smells like bacon don't it?"