the real state of the web log, non sidetracked edition, now with less caps.
before the diversion starts again i want to make the point i tried to make on my last posting. that this undiagnosed but very real bi-polar disorder that i think i have can be a great friend and a bitter enemy. guess which one i like more?
its easier to be miserable and sick and mopey and gloomy. thats what the world throws at you to confuse you. but even in the depths of self-recrimination and on the blackest of black days you can catch a sunset, or a thong or a have a conversation with a truly eautiful person whose spirit is as generous as her cleavage and everthing is ok for a few moments....the secret is savoring those moments and recreating them. i think. so i type the crap out and hit publish and these fleeting thoughts of mine are out there and a few months later someone will say im hilarious or that was you and then i cant help but laugh it up with them and instead of telling some comedians lame ass jokes we are talking about my lame ass life and it is therapuetic for me and i can now begin to see the top of the well.
now to start clawing my ass up the slimy sides.
this mania that i feel approaching may be the ticket to a new job, a cleaner apartment and a healthier lifestyle for a few months...
with diligence i may get a synergy thing going where my positive vibes feed on others and i actually start to smile and laugh and play...
welcome back to my world, spirit of fun.
why have you returned?
to taunt me and mock me before smashing me down again? so be it.
whatever my destiny is then ill do it.
ill do the time.
but if the time i do is HARRYTIME, (oops sorry about those oppressive caps again)
then look out world because harrytime hasnt really even scratched the surface of the possibilities that i seem to trip over everyday now.
something is changing, and whether that means im teaching english in korea, on a plane to vegas to learn about real estate with my dog bill on his dime and meeting his friends in the business out there, or taking this substitute teacher job at a catholic school that i find out about on monday, something is in the wind...
i smell it...
change.
i use this web log to amuse me and it does. on january 5th im taking the best parts of this to open mike nite in cherry hill and trying it out on a live audience and seeing if i can vibe off the crowds energy. i may try it out in town at the new spot that opened up i think its on tuesdays and if i go, ill let my little blog know first. so thak you little web log of mine.
i also hope to turn this little trickle of electronic scribble into something more tangible, some sort of commodity that i could perhaps entice some business with as a consultant to them in some capacity, i am thinking out now how horrible it would actually be to have deadlines and be productive and that and my lack of discipline are all that are barriers to my success. oh, and my laziness. i may be the type who always works for someone more focussed on dollars and sense than i am. thats fine.
im all for non challenging work as long as it keep the lights on and no one fucks with me. i am very good at and happy to amuse myself. i just need a little bit of help from time to time. so thank you to all the people who have been "loaning" me money in the last few months. when i start working steadily i will take care of you.
i will continue my pattern of spending most of my money as soon as i get it and you will get it as soon as i do. ive learned how to get by on 700 bucks a month here but there are still some frills in my lifestyle. deeper cuts have to be made, and we will. we at harrytime will make the hard decisions, like cutting alcohol out of the budget, if thats what we need to do to be happy and keep talking to people i like without money coming into the question.
like my boy the sculptor. hes a temp waiter who works "as little as possible"
hes my hero. he rents a studio space for 15o a month and sleeps on the floor. its a great hustle except when another artist is burning the midnight oil and loudly creating down the hall and he cant sleep. if they see him sleeping there he simply says he fell asleep after a nite of creation and that he was too tired to go home and its all good. maybe i need me one of them studios...
he took me to a cool party in a warehouse that was partitioned off and dude lived there for 200 a month. three of his four roomates were gay, so there might be some nights that the curtain strung across the huge open spaces did not give the dude the privacy he would have wished he had when the rave ended and the lovers came home and the headphones drowned out most of it but not the thump, thump thumping vibrations of the bed slammming, into the wall as his roomates practiced an act that is illegal in virginia, georgia and other progressive states who wont even let you marry a guy no matter how cute he is.
maybe thats why the rent is so low.
maybe its part of a recruitment drive the local sodomites are having.
that would explain the rainbow banner hanging in the hallway and all the posters of mr. sulu and the music on the turntable and yeah, its time to go.
dude should be ok there tho, hes young and strong
a rugby playing musician from lancaster who is only in philly until he outgrows it i suspect.
then off to NY, LA of maybe nashville to do some serious music apprenticeship.
his first gig is at the the place that sells bowls of cereal to rick kids at penn. its a chain. isnt it kicky?
a hoot?
you can pcik your cereal, your favorite milk and listen so some earnest singer songwriter tell his tale of self absorbtion, yes he eloquently expresses the pain we all feel at nineteen, fel;t at nineteen, when life was just so friggin hard...
like his roomates weiners when hes in the shower..
hes a new age blues singer
"taking a shower in a loft full of gays,
the sounds that i hear sure do amaze,
im an amish boy from the country
why cant they see,
that my religion does not approve
of their sodomy."
"i hope they dont touch me at night when i rest,
i often wake up with sperm on my chest
i hope its my own,
from a wet dream so sweet,
and not the result,
of a beating of meat,
"of a roomate so gay,
in this loft o so cheap"
my anxieties run very very very deep"
from the album
homophobia for beginners
by amish johnny
rugby records
2005
all rights reserved
and lefts too
before the diversion starts again i want to make the point i tried to make on my last posting. that this undiagnosed but very real bi-polar disorder that i think i have can be a great friend and a bitter enemy. guess which one i like more?
its easier to be miserable and sick and mopey and gloomy. thats what the world throws at you to confuse you. but even in the depths of self-recrimination and on the blackest of black days you can catch a sunset, or a thong or a have a conversation with a truly eautiful person whose spirit is as generous as her cleavage and everthing is ok for a few moments....the secret is savoring those moments and recreating them. i think. so i type the crap out and hit publish and these fleeting thoughts of mine are out there and a few months later someone will say im hilarious or that was you and then i cant help but laugh it up with them and instead of telling some comedians lame ass jokes we are talking about my lame ass life and it is therapuetic for me and i can now begin to see the top of the well.
now to start clawing my ass up the slimy sides.
this mania that i feel approaching may be the ticket to a new job, a cleaner apartment and a healthier lifestyle for a few months...
with diligence i may get a synergy thing going where my positive vibes feed on others and i actually start to smile and laugh and play...
welcome back to my world, spirit of fun.
why have you returned?
to taunt me and mock me before smashing me down again? so be it.
whatever my destiny is then ill do it.
ill do the time.
but if the time i do is HARRYTIME, (oops sorry about those oppressive caps again)
then look out world because harrytime hasnt really even scratched the surface of the possibilities that i seem to trip over everyday now.
something is changing, and whether that means im teaching english in korea, on a plane to vegas to learn about real estate with my dog bill on his dime and meeting his friends in the business out there, or taking this substitute teacher job at a catholic school that i find out about on monday, something is in the wind...
i smell it...
change.
i use this web log to amuse me and it does. on january 5th im taking the best parts of this to open mike nite in cherry hill and trying it out on a live audience and seeing if i can vibe off the crowds energy. i may try it out in town at the new spot that opened up i think its on tuesdays and if i go, ill let my little blog know first. so thak you little web log of mine.
i also hope to turn this little trickle of electronic scribble into something more tangible, some sort of commodity that i could perhaps entice some business with as a consultant to them in some capacity, i am thinking out now how horrible it would actually be to have deadlines and be productive and that and my lack of discipline are all that are barriers to my success. oh, and my laziness. i may be the type who always works for someone more focussed on dollars and sense than i am. thats fine.
im all for non challenging work as long as it keep the lights on and no one fucks with me. i am very good at and happy to amuse myself. i just need a little bit of help from time to time. so thank you to all the people who have been "loaning" me money in the last few months. when i start working steadily i will take care of you.
i will continue my pattern of spending most of my money as soon as i get it and you will get it as soon as i do. ive learned how to get by on 700 bucks a month here but there are still some frills in my lifestyle. deeper cuts have to be made, and we will. we at harrytime will make the hard decisions, like cutting alcohol out of the budget, if thats what we need to do to be happy and keep talking to people i like without money coming into the question.
like my boy the sculptor. hes a temp waiter who works "as little as possible"
hes my hero. he rents a studio space for 15o a month and sleeps on the floor. its a great hustle except when another artist is burning the midnight oil and loudly creating down the hall and he cant sleep. if they see him sleeping there he simply says he fell asleep after a nite of creation and that he was too tired to go home and its all good. maybe i need me one of them studios...
he took me to a cool party in a warehouse that was partitioned off and dude lived there for 200 a month. three of his four roomates were gay, so there might be some nights that the curtain strung across the huge open spaces did not give the dude the privacy he would have wished he had when the rave ended and the lovers came home and the headphones drowned out most of it but not the thump, thump thumping vibrations of the bed slammming, into the wall as his roomates practiced an act that is illegal in virginia, georgia and other progressive states who wont even let you marry a guy no matter how cute he is.
maybe thats why the rent is so low.
maybe its part of a recruitment drive the local sodomites are having.
that would explain the rainbow banner hanging in the hallway and all the posters of mr. sulu and the music on the turntable and yeah, its time to go.
dude should be ok there tho, hes young and strong
a rugby playing musician from lancaster who is only in philly until he outgrows it i suspect.
then off to NY, LA of maybe nashville to do some serious music apprenticeship.
his first gig is at the the place that sells bowls of cereal to rick kids at penn. its a chain. isnt it kicky?
a hoot?
you can pcik your cereal, your favorite milk and listen so some earnest singer songwriter tell his tale of self absorbtion, yes he eloquently expresses the pain we all feel at nineteen, fel;t at nineteen, when life was just so friggin hard...
like his roomates weiners when hes in the shower..
hes a new age blues singer
"taking a shower in a loft full of gays,
the sounds that i hear sure do amaze,
im an amish boy from the country
why cant they see,
that my religion does not approve
of their sodomy."
"i hope they dont touch me at night when i rest,
i often wake up with sperm on my chest
i hope its my own,
from a wet dream so sweet,
and not the result,
of a beating of meat,
"of a roomate so gay,
in this loft o so cheap"
my anxieties run very very very deep"
from the album
homophobia for beginners
by amish johnny
rugby records
2005
all rights reserved
and lefts too
posted by bakeowski | 5:15 AM
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