waiters and bartenders like to take the edge off reality
so i hang out with people with substance abuse problems
alot
and by association i sometimes bond with them in unhealthy ways
which is why i stopped tending bar ten years ago
driving home at sun up
getting coffee with commuters after a long night at the after hours bar
and doing things that made you awake
despite the alcohol
i reflected
and decided that falling asleep at the wheel at 7:30 wasn't for me
i quit the biz as soon as i got a sub teaching job
it was w healthy decision
it was a good move
the father that hit me sith a heavy wooden chair at a parent teacher meeting and ended my first stint as a ghetto teacher was a distant memory
pouring drinks for addicts, talking to them, bonding with them for filthy lucre' was far worse than physical abuse and the job put me right at ground zero for degenerate behavior
i will soon try to end the drinking thing
its not really paying off
in college drinking made you cool and made hot women like you for a few hours
as an adult, it carries some sort of negative connotation
people are so judgemental
i will drink until my brain gets bored with it
which will be soon
thats why i dont have a tv
its boring
obvious
transparently conditioning
i do not need conditioning
my hair is wild on its own
like my brain
there are a few shows that dont make me barf
but when i think of the hours i wasted
watching some regurgitation of reality
some simple stupid somnolent offering
no
not me
i will not be bored without renumeration
watching tv is like a job
with no pay
i do miss the simpsons
but i will catch up with my man on dvd someday in someone elses place
i just dont think that a box that spews false values
alienation
and consumption
has a place in a rational thinkers home
i try to be rational
its all you friggin weirdos that make me rage
cant you see the scientist with the cheese?
arent you hip to the fact that capitalism is a mass delusion that cannot be sustained?
that your rabid consumption is killing the world?
im just hanging around to see what mother nature does to all your asses
it should be interesting
on the other hand
puppies are fun
god is my friend
ande there are beautiful people walking around every day on the same streets as us ugly folk
just the other day i followed a fine young thing in thin grey sweats for a block or two
she kept checking herself out on the reflections in shop windows
she had stealth underwear, it was all her
jiggly
wonderful
getting a little fat as she aged but still hotter than an eclipse on mecury
i almost followed her, but felt creepy
and imagined that i was cool enuf and monied enough to talk some game to a girl that spenda alot of time on her appearance
and needs a comparable loveman
but thanks god
and thanks narcissistic women who strive to look hot
it makes my walks happnin
it makes life tolerable
it celebrates the life force
it spurs me to provide a batter looking body for their visual enjoyment
heck
i might start running again
just for the hotties
to help the world by being as pretty as i can be
because its all about perception
and i perceive me as cooler than the world does
because im retarded