the male turkey fans his beautiful and impressive plumage to win the heart, or at least a few moments ardor of the hen in his lifE.
babboons with reddest asses get the most asS.
tony bennet chooses crooninG.
me? ive got a negative attitude and low self-esteeM.
it attracts a certain type of womaN.
the kind who loves the taste of failure, who wants to do the goddess thing, elevate a lower being so as to ultimately crush him even lower than life already haS.
so you think you know what low is mr bakeowski, take a lil taste of this honey, yeah thats it, become addicted, yeah, there ya go, you are so special, so precioius so friggin sensitive....
so i feel i can tell you this....
i just got engaged
you were my side peice, my science project, my community service hours....
for you see, hotties, too, must balance their love karma, so we slum....
thanks for building up my balance, now i qualify for a relationship with a soap-opera star, or a REAL writer...
yeah, theres the ultimate denoument'
(dAy-nOO'-Ma) french, for artistic type ending i think
yeah, hes been in the new yorker
hes a playwright
he writes epic poems in iambic pentameter and has read the classics in their original latin....
and he weighs 400 pounds
has a sour body odor
and smokes
but his soul is so much purer
and his pain so much more real
and ima pain junkie
i guess thats the ride im getting on as i smile my way through hour long phone calls again
the threat of pulling a ralph wiggum lies under the surface of every conversation i have with a beautiful woman
ralphie with his valentine for lisa simpson
an engine
that says i choo choo choose you
to be my valentine
but of course the valentine means so much more to our sensitive porky tender heart than it does to that hottie lisa
sometimes hotties are just being kind
and the kindness is mistaken for interest
a natural curiosity about people, mistaken for getting closer
conversation misunderstood as spitting of game
it is the womans choice
when i meet the one ill know by the way we talk
when hotties attack
ill just be funny and honest
i may brush my teeth or bathe in an attempt at troll sexiness
maybe even a haircut
i might even be nude again in the next few months or so if a hottie makes a bad decision
thats what i am here for
helping hotties regret the morning after since 1985
two decades of experience in the hottie revulsion arena

ill just keep singing my deranged little love song
from my decrepit nest
in a lightning ravaged, rotting tree
feathers a bit mangy with a bit of dander
beak cracked and discolored
but still a bit too spry to be caught by any but the cleverest of predators
one migration/vacation away from spring and all that phoenixy rebirth jazz
secretly working on lyrics to happier tunes
hopeful little ditties and ballads that my vocal chords are working their way towards
feathers starting to grow in a bit in the bald spots
mind daring to hope
ready for the next meltdown
but betting on the longshots again
i hear the locomotive of love
rumbling down the tracks
my little dead tree trembles
on this windswept mountainside
will she choo choo choose me
or leave splintered wood and sawdust in her mighty wake
and who really gives a shit either way?