UNDER

EMPLOYED!

the musical

i.m. bakeowski

a playful romp thru entry level jobs in your advancing years

ACT I

scene opens at an employment agency

they are interviewing candidates one at a time as others sit in a row of chairs filling out applications

applicants in all manner of professional dress, doctor to scientist to laborer with tools

music begins,

chorus "what are they paying? what are they paying? what are they paying us to day?"

APP 1 -"i heard it's twelve bucks an hour just for today"

APP 2-"thats not much yo, how can he do that?"

APP 1-"its better than yesterday"

"i got a family, i got two kids now, i cant live on this shit pay"

"this is a temp job, it beats day labor,"

"thats what you always say"

APP 3"but im a doctor,

APP 4" but im a lawyer"

"you messed up now your his prey"

"ima rocket scientist, i cannot stand for this"

"you say that every day"

APP 5"but im a carpenter,"

APP 6 "so was jesus" APP 1"get off your lazy ass and start your religion today"

CHORUS "cuz..... we're..... just temps we're just temps , we're just temps we're just temps and we're working just to survive"

"we're just temps we're just temps and we'll do all the shitwork to get money to say alive."

"so load up those bustubs and hand up those mops"

were not smart enough to find better jobs"

"throw your crap on the floor and be piggish slobs"

"we're so happy to be working , we've no time for sobs."

we're just temps we're just temps we're just temps we're just temps cause we all lost our steady jobs"

we're just temps we're just temps and dont need benefits or security just hand us those mops"

offstage voice, stage left "i.m.bakeoswki? i.m.bakeowsik"

"thats me"

stage left lights up, a desk, bulletproof glass thru the middle, a chair on either side

seated on far side is dweeby looking office manger

bakeowski enters

D.L.O.M. "put your hand through the slot there"

the slot is like at a bank thats been robbed several times, hands have to go in flat and both parties have to contort to almost shake hands

D.L.O.M. "byron bristol, glad to meet you i.m. . i.m., is that short for something?"

bake "yes, its right there on the application"

D.L.O.M. "oh, there, Ignatius Mussolini, dude your mom hated you"

bake "your moms going to outlive her child if you dont stop cracking wise, and get on with the hiring process."

D.L.O.M. "no offense, im just trying to break the ice here with humor, i went to this seminar and."

bake" you over paid"

D.L.O.M. "good one, i.m., good one, ok down to business then, it says here that you have been in the restaurant business for ten years and taught school for another twelve, we can offer you 10.50-12 dollars and hour to start, depending on the place."

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