all i need is a little help every now and then

just dont hold me back is all

dont work with me if you dont understand

and if you dont understand,
dont act against my interests
at least ask
dont be sure you know where im going with something
or assume you know
ask
i will tell
i dont even know the direction
but i have inklings

little funny notions about the way the world could work
not the whole world
just my tiny corner

i tackled global problems when i taught and lost
wont fall into that rap
the fighting other peoples wars mess

i tried to help
i really did
but here was a real "drop in the bucket" feeling at the end of successful days
and a real feeling of being drowning in a portapotty on most
you think you want to float
so you grab onto a floating mass of toilet paper
topped with all manner of offal
and its a little less disgusting than going under in the blue nasty urine anti bacteria deoderant water
just a little less disgusting by a fraction
and maybe the next person to sit down will hear your cries for a ladder
the trick to teaching is to spread the excitement
and nurture it
and if you are always the most excited person in the room you are doing something wrong
i know i got them stirred up quite a few times
and got quite a few of them thinking
and gave quite a few of them something to think about
and maybe even touched a few lives forever
like robert johnson a writing student and member of my softball team
a quiet kid
trying to stay cool with the kids in class
the wanna be gangsters, pimps, drug lords and rappers hoochie mamas
but also trying to stay cool with his grandparents who are raising him and insist he do well in school
so he has to listen to you
but also has to listen to the streets if hes going to survive
walking a tightrope of cool
he taught me to chill out
and how to approach some of his more "thugged out" associates
and hes going to do fine
doing fine walking the line
robert johnson who is probably making more money than i am right now
so he tells me one day late in his career
mr baker
dont take this the wrong way
but youre my nigga
with the a
so its not the unutterable lose your job word
does his testimony at my trail then allow me to use that word?
i need to talk to a lawyer
anyway

dont slow me down
work with me or stay out of my way
dont let your feeble understanding of the world become sand in my lube
funking up the machinery
im taking on the world in a small way
you could have been part of the team
now you are in the rearview
with the rest of the losers that slowed me down
ill tell you how i am going to fuck you over if you just ask me
and hell, you might like it
i have a very developed ability to see the worst case scenario
and loads of experience fucking shit up
i also can see an upside
and thats my focus for a bit
this money they send me in the mail for being unemployed is my version of a "genius grant"
ill make the most of it
and if "suitable employment" should materialize
i shall pursue it
if i find it suitable
im not forced to take another shitty job at least for 24 weeks
24 weeks of heaven
living the dream baybee
living the dream
living among my thoughts
trying to figure this shit out
finding my angle
my hustle
my raison d'etre
will 24 weeks be enough
we shall see
we shall see