theres a job opening at a shady biz in town
my boy dave was hired there
he makes sure the escorts get paid
i guess he calls people and makes sure the hookers,
i mean escorts were professional
so hes a pimps assistant or something
so that sounded interesting
so i shot them the following email with one of my resumes
subject line
"the perfect applicant?
they havent called yet for some strange reason



Hello,
I'm getting tired of temping and am excited by the
possibility of the promise of "career advancement
opportunities"
I am probably overqualified for this position, but I
need to get out of my apartment and have no ego when
it comes to work. Just tell me what to do and when to
be there. I have no problem doing simple repetitive
tasks with high efficiency because I am just wired
that way. It doesnt even matter to me if the boss is
a jerk. I am so water rolling off a ducks behind, so
very chill, mellow and easy to get along with that
offices run better when I am in them, people smile
more, I ain't kidding.
I think you may have been the folks that hired a temp
freind of mine from Kelly services. Ask him about
harry, he should tell you to hire me immediately.
Oh, and if you fired DAVE gersons slacker behingd, I
never really liked him anyway.
Well, I hope you call me.
Best time is early in the morning before I tie up my
phone line all day with my internet job hunts.
Also please keep my resume on file, I know that in a
creative business as touted by your web page that you
have room for me somewhere in your 350 member staff.
I will make my next bosses very happy and successful.

William Baker
bakeowski@yahoo.com
215-463-2142

After teaching for a twelve years in inner-city
Philadelphia schools, I am seeking job that utilizes
the supervisory and management skills I honed doing
such work. In those years I was required to be
collegial with every department in the building in
order to receive timely services, as well as the day
to day supervision and motivation of up to 180 young
adults. Massive amounts of paper work are routine
for me and I survived, and even thrived in chaotic
environments, and am quite confident that I can handle
anything that comes my way.

Education: Temple University, 1993 magna cum laude,
Elementary Education.

Other related work experiences;

 worked at TGIF for six years, their motto is
“if there’s time to lean, there’s time to clean”
this company gets a lot out of their employees by
micromanaging, and I learned a lot from the
many managers I served under. I was offered
management training and declined to finish school

 trained waiters and bartenders for TGIF in my
role as In-store Trainer, invented drinks

 opened engine 46 steakhouse, trained
barstaff, ordered liquor, dealt with salesmen

 was a floor manager at the Philadelphia Stock
exchange during a break from teaching



Work experience

 TGI Fridays 1986-1994 , Alexandria Virginia
and City Ave, Philadelphia
 Engine 46 steak house-bar manager/bartender
1995, a summer job that blossomed
 Philadelphia School District 1993-2005
> ABN AMRO sage, Phila. stock exchange
2002

References

Robert Hardy office manager ABN AMRO sage
corp.

Wendy Walsh- owner Engine 46 steak house

so basically i expect the phone to reing really soonly
i missed the spelling errors in the email
but they cant care with this solid a rezzie now can they?
i know i have the skill set to be a pimps assistant
"yeah this is bill baker for sleazcorp billing department
seems you didnt pay oral annie for her services?
well, yes she does have a penis
but her skill set is clearly listed in our online ad
oh you thought tv meant you had a chance to be on television
natural mistake
well we did tape you
and annie does have a penis
so unless you want to be the star of your own website
ACCIDENTALLY GAY
where straights dude get surprised by hot trannies and transvestites
yeah
thats what TV stands for in our business
so when can i expect your payment
very good sir
and would you like another visit with annie
well andy really
for 20 percent off?
ok thats for tuesday then?
andy will see you then about 1230
thanks for shopping sleazeco"