why i am the way i am
oh fer two in the love olympiad
didnt even go to the last olympics
international love sanctions were placed upon me
when i didnt return love offered
because im jsut too smart for that
im more spock than captain kirk lately
add my little bit of psychic power

like i know if it annoys me when we meet
its gonna really chafe my balls later
i dont ask for perfection
just someone that is perfect for me
i know that im a slob
i know that if it wasnt for good genetics i would be undatable
but i carry the champion gene
women sense this
and want to reclaim me for the benefit of the species

its hilarious to me how guarded we are when we get to a certain age
so good at protecting ourselves from feelings
life pain
whats the difference
why not risk a little heartache?

like penecillin resistant bacteria
women are becoming immune to my love stylings as i age
they use the anti bacterial soap
bactreria killing laundry soaps
hand sanitizer
and they wonder
why i sneeze when they sit down next to me

keep on playing that defense
im playing the only game i know
offense
yeah im offensive
but a cute, witty offensive

and watch what happens when one of these numerous cuties
walking down the street
in light, sheer, clingy fabrics
glistening, bouncy, delicious
watch
just watch
what happens when they start to flirt back

just find me a chick with an extra room,
an airconditioner
cable tv
and faith
ill do the heavy lifting
you have the faith

we take the love olympics over
setting records our collection of gold dazzling the eyes of the spectators
the watchers
those to a feared to get in there and muck things up in their heart

i still have ten percent of my aorta left

ill wager that
and what left of my left ventricle
so what CHOO GOT?

HUNH?