the phone rang
i answered

now i have to be somewhere on monday for 8 hour
and they will eventually give me money for clicking a mouse

its up to me to remain sane
to stimulate myself
to survive this exposure to the work virus
i must condition my mind
must locate a fat bag of good ganja
and smoke my brains out
so by monday im converted to the DUDE
as in
dude
this job sucks, dude
dont i know it, dude
i had a great vacation from reality
courtesy on the state of PA
my genius grant runs out this week
and the phone rings
the torture seeks me out
someone in torture central notices a soul,
too happy, too carefree

"boss, looks like we got one in sector 7"
"wait a minnit, wait a minnit, his satisfaction level in life is way off the charts for an unemployed loser, WHATDAFUCK?"
"seems like hes found some sort of life cheat, sir, and has adjusted his expectations of the universe to masochistically low levels"
"fuck, we'll never get him to stop smiling when he gets free money in the mail"
"ok end the free cash, give him a job and bitchify his girlfriend 13 percent"
"but sir, he likes bitches"
"exactly"
"oh you're devious sir""thats why they pay me the big bucks, lets see if hes ready to be the worlds finest and most patient and understanding man in the universe after working a full day with morons in a mindless repitious black hole of hope....Let's see what happens then..."
"it is an honor to work with you sir"
"carry on, jenkins, check out sector 12...."

The work virus
cured by the injection of rugby into my life
repeat when neccessary

i feel bad for my oppponents if i have a job when rugby season starts up
ill have much anger to process
rugby is rage processing factory
in goes all lifes petty frustrations and indignitites
out comes a human being
you cant seriusly expect me to walk around with all that shitin me no can you?
thats where the blood pressure spikes
thats where the toxins accumulate

im far to sensitive to come out of the workday unscathed

im very scathed
daily scathings
sometimes the skin just sloughs off my bones
like radiation vicitms in hiroshima

now thats a book
hiroshima
a gay romp through a post bomb japanese city
see the wonders of technology
see imperialist aggression stymied
up close and personal
see the communists cringe
see them wonder if we would also drop this on paler complected peoples
see america shine
perhaps our finest moment as a superpower?
hiroshima follows a doctor thru the rubble and tells what he saw
it may be written by john hersey
i forget
and now that ive officially lost focus
oh yeah
work sucks
but the rent must be paid
so the genius must submit to having the boot of financial oppression placed upon his neck again
the genius should craft a better exit strategy this time
the genius should craft a softer landing
cash aquisition mode
time to explore my welsh or irish heritage
whichever is cheaper
or is that the scot?
damn
damned by birth to be a spend thrift
BUT
BUT BUT
i could put the cash i save by not drinking into a can somewhere
thats roughly 50 a week if im drinking at home
double that if its out on the towne
so lets see
call it 75 bucks a week save by not drinking
how many weeks until i could quit working forever?
300 a month
3600 a year add in the plane ticket
three and a half years to save ten grand
then its off to mexico
where they live on 200 bucks a year
i know a chica whose momma might let me hide out for a while
until im done hiding
maybe in exchange for some hard labor
oh yea, a new dream is born
now all i gotta do is talk the chica into it
meet the momma
charm her with my megawatt smile and surly personability
and the world is MAYAN
become a maya
eat sacramental mushrooms
become a mystic live in the hills
maybe in the sierra madre
its all fits together
its so perfect
my destiny, finally
ITS ABOUT FUCKING TIME FATE
THAT I REALIZE MY LIFEQUEST
SHIT
WHAT TOOK YA SO FUCKING LONG???