i made it thru the week on 2195 last week
2195 was the earthlink bill
since the debacle with the student loan people ive been bankless
and the 2195 money order was just sitting there
off to the liquor store and the italian market
potatoes 5 lbs for 2 bucks
2 pounds of onions cost another
six cloves of garlic are another
another dollar gets me alotta spinachill take my chances with ecoli
at the liquor store there a liter of seagrams 7 for 12
that takes care of four days of food and fun
five bucks left
savalot has frozen ground turkey for 89 cents and i need protien so i get two
some spaghetti sauce and pierogies without trans fat
i have a buck for a huge box of little debbie oatmeal pies
i decide i need my trans fat to live
i mean what is life without transfat?
unlivable
i find two cans of cheap tuna in the cupboard, some oatmeal and some peanuts
and the week is over right when i run out of food
no mayo
youd be surprised how good tuna is with french dressing
the french dressing almost masks the unmistakeable taste of dolphin
tuna this cheap takes a gourmet touch to keep down

i stumble across some cash the day i run out of food
god lookin out for morons again i guess
i try every day not to fuck the mailman up
i know hes the one responsible
hes the one that "lost" my check
and my new yorkers
and my postcard from vermont with sheep on it
the lazy fucker probably throws mail out when he doesnt feel like working
wouldnt you?
so i love his pluck
his anarchist approach to his job
but not when it causes a delay in the delivery of my state genius grant checks
the ones they send unemployed geniuses
so they dont become too sad
it almost causes me to shave and clean up and look nice for potential employers
i hope this doesnt have to happen
but theres an inevitablity about it
like when theres a new guy on the landing team in star trek you know hes doomed
i can feel the alien presence taking over my mind
telling me to conform
to work
to be respectable
spock and kirk are trying to help me
but the alien is really up in there
phasers have no effect
kirk overacting, urging me to "fight it man HANG ON MAN"
spock telling me there is no logical reason for me to get a job while the state is sending me cash
in an even eerier event my waiter bud shows up outta nowhere
hes a sculptor
living as cheaply as possible
who lived in his sculpting studio for a while
there were one or two late night artists there who would keep him up at night
but mostly he could sleep
hes a nude model now
makes 16 an hour
i wonder if they like to paint fat dudes?
im going to practice standing on my head for an hour at a time
so i can give them something interesting to paint or draw
just think how my balls will look hanging down over my belly
or will they slip out the other side
what valuable experience that will be for the art students
i may be able to charge more that 16 for that
oh yeah
and only 83 more to go
holding on to a dream is tough work
not for pussies
so my dream is not to work again
i cant help it if i dreamed it
it sure beats latting an alien mind take control of my body
telling me to lift that
proofread that
fax this to their accounts recievable number
bring me the dessert tray
dig it three feet deeper and a foot wider
lesson plans are due fridays before noon
be at this address at 530 am
hold it right there
license and registration
punch in and out on the computer terminal at your workstation
the activity report shows that you were idle for 30 minutes
your output is ten to fifteen percent above average, but your pay remains the same
it an OPTION to leave early, not a garuntee
theres a mandatory 4 hours overtime on saturdays
taxes average 30 percent of every paycheck
tote that barge
lift that bale
owe my soul to the company store