My homiesare having a great time in england
they dont have my doctor
17 litre each
thats impressive
i may have come close to that at a rugby party
beer goes down easy when youve just been all primal
after a victorious hunt
after pillaging the villagers
and i guess wwhne supporting your soccer team
like the micheal jordan of alcoholics you get into "the zone"
pints dissappear down your throat
two or three long gulps
and youre empty
much to the chagrin of whomever was dumb enough to race you
ive never been beated in a chugalug
tied three times against a real beast
but at our level
the stuff blinks away
maybe we need bigger teats
like a quart, say
double the amount
or i could retire undefeated
keep the legend intact
remain a hero for young alcoholics everywhere
antihero maybe
nothiong glamourus about carrying and extra fifty pounds around
so time to reset the alkometer back a few notches
from raging to functional
i dont want to shock my system
risk organ failure
my kidney and liver expect a certain amout each day
ill just cut back
maybe even forgo all hard alcohol for a time
when you can still function and think after a full bottle of vodka you have a tiny problem
one is economic
thats 8 bucks down the drain
that was supposed to be invested in your unconciousness

and maybe as a birthday present to myself
i can be a bit lighter in september when i rock 43 years of life
43 years of staggering mediocrity
43 years of unfulfilled expectations
43 years of dissappointing those who love me with my lw expectations for myslef
they dont get my zen
my least possible effort principle
my efficiency of effort
just do enough to get by
thats the secret
conquer the world tommorrow
entertain yourself today
and if you happen to have to put in a day or two of hard work here and there
remember it
so you can avoid it later
learn from your mistakes
hard work wont kill you
but why risk it?
dont do anything you wouldnt want to die
doing
he died doing what he loved
getting over on the man
ambition is one of those tricks they play on pavlovs dogs