wanted to show some south philly bar life to dude i work with
he drove me home
id add the flavor to his life
stopped in the friendly lounge
its going to be on some list in esquire this month
it was in the paper recently
as a dive
a famous dive
he was chatting about the places history with us
and the newspaper article
and seemed to be very interested in my friend
looking carefully around i noticed only dudes
which is not uncommon at six on a friday
but on third and fourth glance the owner seemed very well kept
as if he exfoliated
and he did say the only "special" in the place was him
youre looking at the special, sweetie
his eyes had that "lively" look
and he wouldnt stop with the banter with the dude i went in with

i wasnt jealous mind you

but there were other clues
if friendly is a similar word to happy
and happy means the same as a bundles of sticks
or english slang for cigarette
it started to sound about right
im glad i made it clear which side of the boat i was on
when the talk was of florida
and the manatee river
the bartender said the sailors used to have sex with them after a long time at sea
and mentioned "anything thats soft and warm i guess"
after all that time at sea
i could hear the village people in the background
on the jukebox
in the navy
in the navy
and when i came out on the id bang a manatee side of the equation
that is if it was a cute manatee
and we were in a loving and committed relationship
and it was a female manatee
and the crowd went
EWWWW
sex with a female
then i knew
then we left
and now i gotta work with a dude who thinks i took him into a gay bar
and thats funny as shit