the last thing i want to do after sitting at a computer screen for seven and one half hours is to come home and sit in front of mine

aversion thereapy

im afraid of my computer now

i douse it with holy water and pelt it with cloves of garlic from across the room
whilst averting my eyes

the MAN is trying to turn me into a data analysis interface
and to optimize my performance with handy charts
the data monitoring team printed out a 4140 which showed that i turned into mental jelly after lunch
250 what i did on my summer vacation essays written by thrid graders will do that to your brain
when the jelly starts leaking from your ears its time to take a break
splash some water on your face
whack off
by lunchtime most days everyones eyes are glazing over
after luucnh you begin to smell the stench of brains rotting in their skulls
brain sushi
gone bad
by four we barely hit the keys at all
drool coming from the corners of our mouths
insane giggling from all quarters
gibbering idiocy

some motherfucker is going to be walking down the street towards me someday soon
and he will be savagely attacked
ill see his sea world shirt
featuring shamu
and it will trigger three thousand essays worth of pent up rage
theyll clear me too
ill put other test scorers on the stand at my trial
ask a few perfunctory questions
then ask the witness

"how do you feel about shamu?"
"would the jury please note the witnesses developing facial tics"
"do you think shamu is AMAZING?"
"that disney land is the HAPPIEST PLACE ON EARTH?"
"what about lego-land?"
"the jurassic park ride where the dinosaur head tries to EAT THE RIDE?"

that should push anyone over the edge
once they see two or three of us victims go over the edge we can start talking punitive damages
the saddest thing is that these kids are quoting commercials in their essays
the process of brain wiring is begun
setting up their associative processes in the pleasure and pain sectors
soon they will get it
their freakish childlike wonder at the beauty and simplicity of nature and the love of family and puppies
replaced
by commodities that can be bought and sold
love measured by the amount spent
not time together
the amwerican way
mommies gotta work baybee so you can get your ipod

so you too can
shut out the world
become more isolated
more individual, fragmented
divide and conquer baybee
we have just the jeans for you to show the world how individual you are
to hell with community
that word is almost communism man
what are ya?
an enemy of the state?

weave your own electronic cocoon of game cubes and playstations
develop the same instincts as the rest of your generation
the same tastes
all the better that we can market to you
from the makers of grand theft auto
a game so RADICAL and so expensive
that
you mommy will show her love and guilt by buying it for you
or you should teach the bitch a lesson
like in the game
remember the game johnny

level seven
left, down, right, up, down, "b" ,"b", down ,right, right

just hit that code on your gameboy will show you a mothers love
thats the cheat code to ecstacy man
stay tuned for the cheat code to heaven

and of course you know that you should never shoot anyone
that would be wrong
this is just a game
human life is sacred
you only get three a game
unless you have the cheat code

and theres the million dollar idea
a video game where if you die you are done
game over
its called sacred life
you only get one life
when you die you can buy back in but you will be judged from your actions
maybe you come back in purgatory a tortured soul
or maybe in heaven, with tupac, biggie and old dirty bastard
or in hell with elvis and john wayne
or in heaven with the 48 virgins like the dudes who piloted the planes are enjoying right now
heres another virgin for you mr attawa
nice job
thanks mohammed!