a sweaty blonde heifer walks into a bar.....
she asks for a can of coors light
"how much does that cost?"
"that's the only 2 dollars i have, so ill have to tip you next time"
"i'm meeting someone here, do you know someone named billy?"
fat billy i ask?
he cleans the toilets
but hes married, and he really loves her, calls her "the queen" he does
her phone rings
"where are you? i heard you were fat"
"he fucking hung up on me, the asshole"
he did u a favor, if hes rude at the beginning it will only get worse
nazi john mutters something unintelligible
nazi john always is mutterin unintelligble things
the beer doesnt help
hes had several
i say
" welcome to the shamrock "

as the day progresses for our merry trio it becomes apparent to me that shes meeting someone from a dating line
i tell he im gay
that i love older men like the nazi and "isnt he cute"
she is properly disgusted, tho dubious
billy calls back and says the only tiong fat about him is his dick
her phone rings again
she describes herself as busty, which is true, but leaves out the part about the huge saggy ass
she tells potential suitor number two that her can pick her up a the bar ,
but he shouldnt come in
"they're predjudiced in here"
nazi john doesn't like jew and may have mentrioned it too her
in between her asking him "what are you staring at?"
"you don't even remember my name do you?"
"it begins with a d"
i guess delores and start calling her that
nazi john says "dummy"
she understood THAT word
i try to explain that john is a veteran with brain damage from artillery shells exploding too close to him
shes understanding
and she is only looking for companionship, she says...
i mention to her how hot i think nazijohn is when hes not drooling
she doesnt belive me when i say i dont have any pot on me and miraculously finds more money
i can tell shes the kind of girl that likes to flirt for drinks, but im gay
so she just makes demands
claims thats from her jewish mothers side
her dad was german irish
nazijohn does a seig-heil
she asks if he wants to kill her
he says "no dummy"
and buys her a drink
i love nazi john