love blinders
cheerfully applied
she asks now
that i take them off
for my own good
smashing my rosecolored glasses as she races for the door
she doesnt want to be responsible for my pain
it was love,
love happens,
gives her PATENTED LOVE SHRUG
what do you want me to do
i love you both
she cant be held responsible
its a management decision
shes just a clerk
management has told her that love lasts forever
and discussed the morals clause with her extensively
what do you want me to do
im a highly moral person
funny
my anarchist lover is also the standard bearer for morality
in her personal life
a morality taught for centuries by oppressors she will fight at any time
on any corner
on any barstool in her public persona
as the last great philadelphia anarchist
THAT oppression she will fight
but personal oppression
she shrugs
what do you want me to do

i wanted her to come upstairs with me and resume our beautiful physical conversation
the one we'd been having
the one men and women have been having forever
that stress reducer
that fuzzy next day feeling
when you remember that sigh
or that spot
right there
right there
i cant even hear that phrase without welling up
you'd be surprised how often it comes up during the course of a day
as much as you want to avoid it
as much as it shreds your soul to hear those words

the special words
the words that start a thousand pictures in your mind
the ones that start up the violin music
cue titles
the end

i know im supposed to move on
but im a love retard
in my own world
rocking my head back and forth to my own internal mental soundtrack
dont even smile at a love retard like myself
we dont know how to take it
we cant tell the difference between polite and flirtaceous
love retards dont know when its over
love retards are blind to the facts by their hope
hopefully his liver will fail and after a short period of grieving our love will get back on track
hopefully he'll get arrested for not paying child support
go to jail
his liver will fail and after a short period of bereavement i will again be her knight in shining armor because i was so sensitive at the funeral
so solid and manly in my gay colored clothing
and the wake
where i rocked the house with my karoke stylings
singing all the songs he loved so much
hey bartender
love on the rocks
rehab

and when i altered the lyrics in my special way
she rediscovered her love for me at the wake

"she tried to ditch her ex/love retard
i said no no no
but my baybee came back, you gotta hit da tracks
i said no no no

i will buy the wine,
and if you wanna drop by, fine

she tried to ditch her ex-love/retard
i won't go no no"