tired of tofu and bean sprouts?
heres a recipe that is not only tasty but good for your mother earth as well
its a bitch planning a meal that does no harm
questions plague the sensitve soul at every meal
is this coffee shade grown and sustainably harvested by indigenous peoples?
or is it the OTHER kind
the EVIL coffee
were these bird free range or all roided up?
are there pesticides in my produce?
this rather easy meal is GREAT for the world in so many ways
first, you are actually eliminating toxins from the world with every serving of this meal
your shit ay stink a little more than usual, but thata a small price to pay
mother nature will thank you every time you and your family dine on this earth friendly meal
by eating you make the world a better place
this meal serve about twenty people
you will need two machetes
ginger
wasabi
a bottle of lighter fluid
and a jack
gather your group of twenty in the underbrush out of sight at a stop sign in the suburbs somewhere
wait for a humvee to come by
you wont have to wait long
when it comes to a complete stop the prettiest one of your dining party should pop out of the bushes and engage the driver in conversation
use your imagination
while the pretty one distracts the driver another should sneak out with the jack and put it under the rear of the car and jack it off the ground
the pretty one can pretend its an earthquake so the driver doesnt get suspicious
once its off the ground and immobile
douse the tires only with lighter fluid and light
the burning tires will give the meat a delicious smoky petroleumy flavor
at some point the yuppie might try to get out of the barbeque
this is where the machetes come into play
weilding the machete and yelling "who wants SUSHI?"
should save at least half of your good meat
and yuppie sushi is so good
the secret is that yuppies can afford to eat at fresh fields and buy all the uncontaminated food
you can really taste the difference in yuppie flsh
no transfats ever
and not only are you taking a humvee off the road with this recipe
you are also removing the asshole that bought it
someone who thinks driving one is just fine
someone so numb to reality that you are actually doing them a favor while enjoying their flavour
BON APETIT!