my fingers lovingly caress the leather finish
gently stroking the metal fittings
like nipples
brushing with the tips of my fingers
the combination dial
but i stop myself from opening the case
within it
madness
i want
so badly
to open the case
cauterize the world with its nuclear payload
turn the key
await verification from the pentagon
but the pentagon is down
the whole defense department was taken out when she did her yoga climb up my back
a mere defenseless puppy
what kind of person tortures a puppy?
well this puppy is packing nukes
but declining to give the authorization code
so
love ghandi that i am
i fade into the background of her life
no bridges burning
no napalm madness
adult romance
a dolt romance
puppies age faster than people
im almost all grown up now
i try not to hurt myself more than neccessary
why tilt at windmills?
why seek paradise?
why chase the ball when shes not throwing it?
only faking you out
laughing at the stupid dog
its a sham
its a mirage
its a hacky screenplay trick
invented to sell soap
brief moments of happiness are available
so ill plan to enjoy them as they arise
and stop thinking about the future
zen it out
make the most of moments
of whatever kind they may be
like the moment you realize it's over
man
what a rush
the genius finally listens to her skipping record
and hears the lyrics
it sinks in like bad advertising
ill try it without the fire this time
instead of flames
instead i lift my leg
mark my territory
warn the next puppy
move on to the next bridge to paradise
bridges of paradise county
most of them have been reduced to rubble or ash
im leaving this one up
shes still got some potential
we may yet produce the musical version
"bridges of paradise county"
where we find the bastard sons that clint eastwood sired
in the madison county bridge movie
that he was a major player and the basketball and football teams are filled with rangy bucks who look like clint did when he was doing the boxing movies and working out right up until the director said action
so his muscles are rippling and brutal
both teams go to state championships
he makes it to the baseketball dinner
they all turn out to be fags cuz they were brought up by their mothers
they pay him back by taking him captive
tied up in a chair in a backroom somewhere
waiting for zed
the kids have a gay gang initiation rite planned for old clint
>>>>SETTING>>>>>theyve recreated the set in pulp fiction where bruce willis is lucky to be the second choice for the sodomy party
clint looks over at the other chair
in it is hulk hogan
he also was doing some nasty pimping back about 16-18 years ago
half of the gay mafia out there drinking and celebrating are his progeny
>>>>>clint eatwood turns to the hulkster
CLINT
do you think they mean to.......uhhh....?
HULK HOGAN
dude that would be harsh
CLINT
more of them look like you than me, they should start with you
HULK HOGAN
my hands are almost free, you're on your own
CLINT
you cant do that to me man
HULK HOGAN
can and will, my hands are free, ill just untie my feet and...
CLINT
you cant do this to me man
HULK HOGAN
what im doing is buying myself some time, you can beat them up, theyre fags
CLINT
thats such a stereotype man, im surprised at you, you spent so much time at that glam show heaven for raging homosexuality, pro wrestling, that i thought you'd be more open minded about things, sheesh, WWF is known by all to stand for Weally Weally Faggy, geez, man, i respect your right to chose your partners as long as you respect my right to not choose you as a partner, whats wrong with you man, you cant really have changed that much, you were once a gay crusader for justice
clint eastwood takes the role in this film because of that big gay rights speech, he wants everyone to love him so he can finally get that oscar, he feels this speech will "push the stools in" of the gay academy award voters who feel he was horribly mean to gays in his dirty harry movies filmed in san francisco
Gays who didnt understand that famous anti gay tirades in those movies were in the script
not ad-libbed
as reported by a hollywood reporter with an axe to grind against clint and a publisher
hes spent his life trying to get that gay bashing monkey off his back
and thinks this is the perfect vehicle for it
the scribbler hits "publish post"
grabs another bud
twists another
gently stroking the metal fittings
like nipples
brushing with the tips of my fingers
the combination dial
but i stop myself from opening the case
within it
madness
i want
so badly
to open the case
cauterize the world with its nuclear payload
turn the key
await verification from the pentagon
but the pentagon is down
the whole defense department was taken out when she did her yoga climb up my back
a mere defenseless puppy
what kind of person tortures a puppy?
well this puppy is packing nukes
but declining to give the authorization code
so
love ghandi that i am
i fade into the background of her life
no bridges burning
no napalm madness
adult romance
a dolt romance
puppies age faster than people
im almost all grown up now
i try not to hurt myself more than neccessary
why tilt at windmills?
why seek paradise?
why chase the ball when shes not throwing it?
only faking you out
laughing at the stupid dog
its a sham
its a mirage
its a hacky screenplay trick
invented to sell soap
brief moments of happiness are available
so ill plan to enjoy them as they arise
and stop thinking about the future
zen it out
make the most of moments
of whatever kind they may be
like the moment you realize it's over
man
what a rush
the genius finally listens to her skipping record
and hears the lyrics
it sinks in like bad advertising
ill try it without the fire this time
instead of flames
instead i lift my leg
mark my territory
warn the next puppy
move on to the next bridge to paradise
bridges of paradise county
most of them have been reduced to rubble or ash
im leaving this one up
shes still got some potential
we may yet produce the musical version
"bridges of paradise county"
where we find the bastard sons that clint eastwood sired
in the madison county bridge movie
that he was a major player and the basketball and football teams are filled with rangy bucks who look like clint did when he was doing the boxing movies and working out right up until the director said action
so his muscles are rippling and brutal
both teams go to state championships
he makes it to the baseketball dinner
they all turn out to be fags cuz they were brought up by their mothers
they pay him back by taking him captive
tied up in a chair in a backroom somewhere
waiting for zed
the kids have a gay gang initiation rite planned for old clint
>>>>SETTING>>>>>theyve recreated the set in pulp fiction where bruce willis is lucky to be the second choice for the sodomy party
clint looks over at the other chair
in it is hulk hogan
he also was doing some nasty pimping back about 16-18 years ago
half of the gay mafia out there drinking and celebrating are his progeny
>>>>>clint eatwood turns to the hulkster
CLINT
do you think they mean to.......uhhh....?
HULK HOGAN
dude that would be harsh
CLINT
more of them look like you than me, they should start with you
HULK HOGAN
my hands are almost free, you're on your own
CLINT
you cant do that to me man
HULK HOGAN
can and will, my hands are free, ill just untie my feet and...
CLINT
you cant do this to me man
HULK HOGAN
what im doing is buying myself some time, you can beat them up, theyre fags
CLINT
thats such a stereotype man, im surprised at you, you spent so much time at that glam show heaven for raging homosexuality, pro wrestling, that i thought you'd be more open minded about things, sheesh, WWF is known by all to stand for Weally Weally Faggy, geez, man, i respect your right to chose your partners as long as you respect my right to not choose you as a partner, whats wrong with you man, you cant really have changed that much, you were once a gay crusader for justice
clint eastwood takes the role in this film because of that big gay rights speech, he wants everyone to love him so he can finally get that oscar, he feels this speech will "push the stools in" of the gay academy award voters who feel he was horribly mean to gays in his dirty harry movies filmed in san francisco
Gays who didnt understand that famous anti gay tirades in those movies were in the script
not ad-libbed
as reported by a hollywood reporter with an axe to grind against clint and a publisher
hes spent his life trying to get that gay bashing monkey off his back
and thinks this is the perfect vehicle for it
the scribbler hits "publish post"
grabs another bud
twists another
posted by bakeowski | 11:05 AM
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