helping a guy clean out the apartment above his bar
the old lady was a little deaf
the perfect tenant
she was sound hunched over with blood all over the place
so taking the carpet up required some delicacy
it was mostly dried up
talk about a severe case of the wllies...
so we are taking the range to the curb
gas fired
heavy
with a microwave cabinet on the top
1970s technology, when moicrowaves were as heavy as tv sets
so i get on the bottom end with the weight
we are two steps down,
i slide it to the third step
one step at a time
truer words were never spoken
ready i say?
i bump it down and it keeps coming
past the step i was targeting towards my legs and ankles
i retreat
backwards skipping two or three steps at a time
trying to press this thing above my head
to slow it down some
three more steps backwards
hoping they are there as my speed picks up
three more and now its kinda fun
i know the fun will end soon
i begin thinking how long are these steps
i miss one, but not the next that was close so i kinda jump back
the wall stops me
the range slides towards my knees and i push and it miraculously stops
with exactly enough room for me to stand
my thumb is bent in a new way
it points outabout five degrees
my non stressed thumb points straight
o well
it will certainly be fun trying to carry plates tonight at my seventeen year oldes food runner job
my entry level restaurant gig
at 44 he swiftly progressed through the food service industry ranks and soon was assistant to the assistant manager in charge of putting lemon wedges in water glasses
the thumb is going to be fun to deal with tonight
you kinda need it to grip the plates as you carry them to the hungry people
maybe theres a way
we will see
udder-wise
the physically broken and decrepit ex teacher limped into another job interview for a position he was overqualified for
the twenty someting looked him up and down and he knew right then it was over
hopleless
something dismissive in the glance
an imperceptible, yet still palpable sniff accompanied the glance
as if, does this olde man smell as back as he looks?
so it was time to have some fun with the jerkoff
"what three attributes do you have which will make you most successful with our company?"
well, my inteeligence, first and foremeost
i mean , im so much smarter than a putz like you that it will take you years to figure out how im stealing your eyes right out of your head
and of course my work ethic, which is to work live a slave when beiong monitored and to nap when no one is looking
add to that my hair trigger temper and you better be afraid of firing me
unless you wanna get really good at piloting a wheelchair around
when do i start?