four futures
escapist fantasies more than futures
probably not taking another bullshit job
so the contenders are
korea, teaching english, a lavish fantasy of international scope
i need to send a picture in and im on the road so i guess i should do that and dissappear

or PAnational guard, learn to shoot, payback student loans, a 20 k signing bonus
whats the worst that could happen, call it assisted suicide
take my chances?
what else am i doing? seems like an adventure, and the dems say theyll get us out so i should only be over there for a few months, right?
the gov't never fucks its troops up
they heart our troops

or poker dealer school
a month, then im knocking on doors of casinos, begging for works, sweating the drug test
maybe the sanest course, a new career...

or horse farm in the middle of no whare
drop off the earth for a coupla years and wok on my precious words
like i will suddenly discover mental discipline and write like its my job
not bloody likely

i need to do something different
people arent exactly triping over themselves to hire a whacko
so time for bold dramatic strokes
the adventure began when i quit my job with nothing but balls
balls- do your thing -
got get us a job balls
go on
dont be scared
wheres the balls now?
im sure i will learn to like the taste of stewed dog
or to duck bullets
or to smile at assholes
or to not get my foot stepped on by big heavy horses