waiting for my muse in a dark alley with an aluminum bat

unedited pure neanderthal musings NeANDERThallus's DONut EDiT!!! historical records from my cave walls... brutality, menial labor, minor victories, hot sexy interludes....... 3 years on the edges of a society that i cant distance myself enough from

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since 2005 i've been picking at this keyboard. the thoughtstreams flow, who knows from whence they came, or to whence they go? enjoy the ride...... i am

Friday, February 06, 2009

worddude.com
the website which is my calling card
tells the stiffs in the suits what i can do with their kids
testimonials
word of the day
assignment of the week
write a lesson for the day
based on what i feel like teaching today
what i feel like talking to kds about
is it educational?
without a doubt
is it structured?
it will have a form
show me your curriculum and il show you what page im doing today
tommorow?
who knows?
but it will be fun and topical and have some zazz
i refuse to work in a zazz-free environment
the shamrock has zazz when im there
picking the best movie on tv
blasting it to kill conversations at the bar
shushing the local yokels
cant you see bladerunner is on?
based on phillip k dicks short story do androids dream of electric sheep?
here comes darryl hannah in her leotard
here comes a classic quote about empathy
heres harrison ford being pee cee ...hee hee
gotta go check if that domain name is good
while the synapses are still firing true
before i go too crazy on the thinking tip...

i sat upright in bed today, thoughts racing
seemed like old times
when answers to questions kept me from sleeping
genius ideas of the early morning
when id fire off an email to dallas explaining why things happened the way they did in that so-called school

this thought was a while in coming
its bean percolating in different forms for a while

its present form follows

what if there was this guy who would be a great sub for your school
but he could do that anywhere,
infact dude is way overqualified
but dude has an agenda
dude has a sales pitch
dude knows how to talk to principals, or at least knows how to sell
selling himself
selling the three r's
old schol edumuckation

so dude asks for a shot at subbing deluxe
what is a deluxe sub?

a deluxe sub is a dude who wants to get into your school and run a 100 book deal for some bendable young minds
kids that can be excited about books
with young ones its easy because the books are shorter
im thinking that in middle to high school it has to be the book of the week club
with a well written summary which i can teach them to do as well
thats two of the rs

the third r comes along as kids achieve success, milestones and is in the form of numeracy
in the discussion about how far along they are on the challenge
ways to translate numbers into words and how numbers and totals relate to one another

i had a really good math teacher at temple and i do this becasue she got me jazzed about mathgames when all i was thinking about was the sweet sweet young blonde beaver sitting next to me passing notes and burping off the six beers i had for lunch
five o clock is too late for someone like me to have a class
sweet sweet young blonde beaver
i was a little older, finishing my teaching degree
twenty nine or so and the young beaver was just sitting there, so i helped myself
i was to busy to realy hurt her feelings
or she was too busy for me
i carried her up the stairs one night
cursing her for the amatuer drinker that she was
it really pissed me off for some reason
as if i was never the problem drunk
as if i was never pukey mcwine on the sidewalk outside the honors program party
or falling off the bus face first after the new york trip with the same group
smelling the sweet sweet grass
i was laying the framework for a grand career of alcoholism
my baby steps toward 12 steps
except i dont need no stinking program
i just turned off the flow of booze into my life
funds were getting low
i was almost to the point of looking around for work
yuck
i looked at the financial toll of boozing
it aint cheap at my level
at least ten bucks a day to start
and thats if i drink in the heroic isolation of the thrifty problem drinker
a bar costs three times that
even the shamrock
unless im working
and dont get me started on freeloading painters in the environment
who are o so sweet and melodious when the song is about can you buy me a case of beer for the weekend
or whatcha got there?
its a lot cheaper and easier to go cold turkey
21 one days of sobriety was ended when the check arrived from the poker web site
a check with a comma
validation from the universe that i am on the right track
but before too long, poker started to seem like a job too
so of course i backed off
cant be too predictable
besides, a check with a comma gets me to banquet season or tennis season or both
until then i can work this pitch
hire me as a sub
and let me run a few programs by you
to enhance the academics in your institution
to boost test scores
to instill a love of literature into your charges
to get me out of the house
2-3 times a week is what i need from you
find a way to get me in your building working 2-3 days a week
and if you dont want to the next principal might
what was it about my sales pitch that you didnt like sir, if i may ask?
were you intimidated by the goatee?

anyway
i think this dog will hunt
so ill shave and print something up on the other side of my resume and try the little catholic school tommorrow
the one i can walk to
then i try the next closest school and so on
by the time i run out of walkable schools i should have walked into a job
i would think

why am in your office today sir?
im bored
i can support myself playing cards but thats no way to live and frankly its a waste of the human connectibility that i have
god gave me the gift of communication
i like to read
i was once voracious
i want to make another human being a voracious reader
spread the knowledge virus
spread wonder thru the cosmos
mother natures son
firing up the fryer oil fuelled bookmbile
coming to a parking lot near you
its the word dude, man