the new concept is harry hour
ill find ten people who want to party one night
link three restuarants
do a mini pub crawl and see what heppens next
organize them to flow into the phillies so you are progressing to the game stop dolphin 2-3
bar at next stop, 330-430, one stop away or mcfaddens....shop around
pay in advance
one beer and special shot selections at or a signature drink,let me concoct something for the mood of the crowd for each each place
blog it up
be small famous
four tokens for transportation
20 bucks a person
party goes when ten have paid
each person buys a 2.50 shot at each establishment

that sounds like a job i could do
a could also make my payment to the bars of half the money i take ine
10 for them ten for me and we split the cost of tokens.....
i make the context up
the reason to drink
and maybe thats the title
a reason to drink today
have polar bear night
never go to the same bars twice except always secretly end at the shamrock
(i know the owner)
cab full of people bartender pays for the cab and we come in and drink
drinking adventures
PHILADELPHIA DRINKING ADVENTURES
BIKE TOP DRINKING ADVENTURES
if you are in philly
need to rent a bike
need a bike itinerary
heres the cool places to pedal to and the right streets to take to get you there and a tour guide that works for kenzingtons
tour the breweries on your bike
start at philly, go to manayunk?
tkae the train back or ind closer bars
the adventurer....
the bike posuer combo

walking happy hour tours with a local guide who knows a couple bartenders and a couple secret hiding spots in the city.....

that dog will hunt too

fish and chips crawl
khyber, society hill hitel and an irish bar
start at the irish bar then the kyher and finish at the society hill hotel, whoever has the best ....then a night of fish and chips karoke in which the only songs must first be provent to be tangentially related to fish or chips or very bad song parodies like the one about
"roof-EEZ" Roofies that terrible wonder ful snack
roof EASE roof EASE i will not sit down for a week
psychotic productions
all i needs a camera man
ill give you teh raw footage
ou make it interesting, learn video editing
submit it to my friends video editing and production company
market your interesting take on the world

so many good ideas today
taking the day off suits me
called into my job today
called into my dunb job today
i called in to my unispiring
mortifyingly dull and pointles
i said mortifyingly dumb and fruitless
i said
morally wrong and nsatisfying and
tole the lady i need
speak to de boss
i said i tole her i need to speak to the boss
shes not into day
and it came over me right there
it came to me right there on hold
i was hodling away
i was holing away
the phone she was a beeping
the dea began to creep in great thoughts they started seeping through my brai ain ainnn
the perfect plan for a perfect day

i got on the with the census man and start tawkin
got de man on the phone started tawkin
and tole him id be late
baw naw naw naw gnaw
i called dat census man too DAAYYY
tole him ize gonna be late....
yaa i tol him ize gonna be late
then i said what the work load light
if the work load is light
why dont you send me home right now today
if you know what i mean
he knew what i mean isaid if it suits you
i wont be in at all today

and that was the beginning or a very near perfect day ay ay ay ay ay ay ay aya yAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

ok so thats two solid gold plans, my new blues singing career
my food tour guide idea and the best little idea i ever had
the my friends opening a coffee shoppe and i need free food idea where i volunteer to cook some organic breakfast treats for the fella whil trying out healthy recipes that have staying power to start our fleet of bike food delivery gourment vegan goodies in minutes
we would need a food cart in west philly or base out of the bicycle store there....
one mesenger on staff to deliver food quiclky
hot fast gourmet vegan fare
you make the rice
we'll make it nice....

start with killer tofu egg treats and try to perfect that recipe and reproduce it in an efficien manner
how about a cefs pasry bag full of tofu egg salad
start by having tofu egg salad (just add mustard)
tofu scrabled eggs, just add vegan bacon and muffin and slice of avacado or tomato

i get to get better at that skill
i would like coffe and grub in return
you deal with the money end
i want a dvorce from money
its only interesting to me to gamble with it
ill have moringins free on tuesdays and be in town every tuesday
prolly wednesdays too mayb thurs or a wekend day depending on weather
in nice im poolside

ok
so this is called planning the perfect summer
get recipes by july
have a taste test
see if it flies
devo recipes with him and his team
get along with their dog better
eat cheaply and healthily
help a friend
if some day they feel i desrve cash
they can buy me into the poker game
weds days ill play poker in ac tourny at 11
so i guess ill garuntee them 2 days a wek as an experiment with a reevaluation after the first and fifth weeks to see what needs to change....
600-930 tues and weds mornings
poolside other times
chilling and playing poer and working as little as possible...
yeahhhh
develop other little jobs as outlined in this
smile alot more

i called in drunk to my census job
told them i wasnt gonna make it in
that i had real life issues to deal with
i think ill stonewall them today if they are curious
there has been talk of writeups for calling out
o well
i called out the second week citing laundry concerns
i fluffed the story lateer to include getting my lothes out of storgae, but fuck them
as soon as they dont need me im gone
right now they think they need me
so i have the hand
if i can stay a little humble tonight and seem genuinely sorry to have missed work
ahhh yes
i'll cue up the "i cant afford to miss work" rant
juice up some details about expenses and add ssome fiction about utilities giving me shutoff notices and gambling losses
maybe il invent a shylock who is after me
i have a few hours to mull it over
nightshift is murder
1100-730 am
deathly queit save for the clicking of keystrokes and shuffling of papers
occaisional cursing
the fat guy makes little noises all night
hes either sucking snot back up his nose
or grunting as he readjusts his girth
sighs, gurlgles, hes a "dangers of transfat" posterboy
they should show filmss about him in health class
do they still have filmstrips in health class?

the bus to the tennis broke down
the rescue bus took to long
i was reccommending cancellation from the jump
the baseball team was on the bus too
loud crass types
their coach is the Athletic director
as soon as the bus died i was lobbying to cancel the games and head to a happy hour

we dropped in on my fave loud italian bartenderess
she was one hot sweaty mama as the air was broken
she had a glow
i started flirting full bore and she got into the game
soon she was talking about her salty nips and telling me "fuck you" whenever i told her how hot she was
she said fuck you again and this time i replied whatdo you want to do to me more than anything
her instant "fuck you" was one of many cherries on top of a fun filled evening
shes quickwitted loud and funny
you dont catch her often, so it was gold
after the fourth pint glass of icetea vodka mixed with lemonade too refreshing for words the census was looking doubtful
when we grabbed a cab back to our hood and dropped into the fabulous shamrock, the census was never gonna happen
it reminded me of another time i called in drunk
when i was bartendering for the multinational corporation and wore shirts whose pattern was repeated on the vinyl table cloths
we were on top of the ferris wheel when we should have been at the meeting place
wed gone to the beach for 2days, but had to be at work at 4
at i was spozed to meet up with my girlfriend and her roomate but me and gay jeff hickey were drunk and laughin on the ferris wheel
oops jeff said theatrically looking at his watch
this was before cell phones
at a time when i was still considered beautiful
when life throbbed and pulsed and forced you to embrace it
as a bartending god at that place i was pretty sure i could call in drunk one time and get away with it
im the asshole who worked his ass off most days
a corporate bar goon, quoting the handbook to managers who were just trying to end the madness of the sunday brunch rush, where i used to expedite orders for shits and giggles when we were shortstaffed and there was no one at the bar
"I cant sell these fries!"
"where's my golfball size sprig of parsley, i cant serve this without my sprig"
adding my madvoice to the chaos, embracing the stress, thrving on the adrenaline rush of being THAT asshole, master of the moment, king of the window
the corporate handbook was the word of god and i was a sweating sppitting pentcostal minister of mayhem on the sundays i would "help" out during brunch
my brian loves insane little factoids like the bit about the sprig of parsely or what constituted the difference between dead and dying food
id yell warnings to the grill man about how he better gat me that burger or hed be making three new chicken sandwiches...
and id live for the moments a harried floor manager would try to push me to the side to serve substandard food and id fix them with the ook and be horrified and throw may hands up and go back to the bar if they were serving food beneath my high corporate standards
yeah
THAT ASSHOLE
that was me
so i was pretty sure that i could finesse another day off there at the beach and the bartender claudia was still around and looking fuckable in her bikini and she would give us a ride home the next day so me and gay jeff hickey had to come up with a plan
and there it appeared
in the form of beach cops who we asked to write us a ticket for public drunkeness that we could sho the boss the next day so we could stay at the beach another night and all was beautiful
the cops were somehow cool with the idea and the beers never tasted better than they did that night as we smoked joints rolled from pages of the bible and laughed the night away