waiting for my muse in a dark alley with an aluminum bat

unedited pure neanderthal musings NeANDERThallus's DONut EDiT!!! historical records from my cave walls... brutality, menial labor, minor victories, hot sexy interludes....... 3 years on the edges of a society that i cant distance myself enough from

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since 2005 i've been picking at this keyboard. the thoughtstreams flow, who knows from whence they came, or to whence they go? enjoy the ride...... i am

Monday, July 19, 2010

trying to find the activation switch
ive been a very zen human being lately
if to be zen is to be passive and go with the flow
but is kinda blah not to have goals
whats my motive?
i need the spiritual backdrop to the zen to be formalized
to be in the forfront of my brain
to make life more than a long series of bad meals, cheap booze, cards, and bowel movements
don't get me wrong
im working on the meals part
country living puts tasty dainties from the garden on my plate daily
so i'm fixing that
still an occasional cancerburger binge or poultroids
the smell is hardwired into my monkey brain
im trying to out monkey it
but the monkey brain has had alot of practice
monkeys that ate meat fucked more vigorously than monkeys that didnt
they out fucked the vegetarian monkeys and then they invented mcdonalds
all they had to do then was sit back and count the money

my laziness comes from my monkey brain
lazy monkeys had more energy to run away from tigers than the monkeys who were running around all over the place and being productive
so lazy monkeys fucked more

my monkey brain sees shiny things and rejects them
i killed that monkey
my monkeybrain is a survivor
the survivor monkey has been getting alot of milage on his potential
years and years to flower
years and years to blossom
but this flower is sensitive to too many toxins
its hard to bloom in the city
where all you see is zombies
zombies hate flowers
they try to eat our brains
if you are the bud of flower of human decency and lightness of being, the zombies are coming after you
if you are a butterfly of hope, resting on the bud, waiting to pollinate the bud, whispering encouragement to the bud, licking toxins off the bud, watch out!
tho unvoiced, you are appreciated, watch out for the zombies

once i can put the zombie menace clearly in my rearview, then maybe i can get the time to truly flower
but they are everywhere!
duty compels me too spend more time with zombies than id like
zombies can be very helpful if their dangers are clearly understood
zombies want to convert you to their way of thinking which is the only thing that keeps them from eating you
if they think they can teach you their language and customs then they will keep you around, in their posse, as it were, to provide welcome comic or philosophical relief
zombies dont like to do the heavy thinking
zombiers are a step or two slower and will broadcast your wit for you at the top of their lungs and the whole zombie troop will guffaw

"haw haw haw," guffawed grendel, deep in his cave, as the saquatch finished his story.
"you guffaw like a zombie," interjected the yeti, lighting up the volcano for a deep hit of a hydroponic bubblegum/skunk hybrid that he was developing in conjunction with the chinese government in order to take over the worlds weed supply.
the chinese plan was simple. get obama reelected. have a secret meeting. threaten him like the bankers did last october. he wil cave. its in his dna. hes a born compromiser. but this isnt the frickin' puffington post, the left politcal rantings of puff the magic dragon who robert deniro is shocked to find out is a drug addict of the first order.
since the chinese and sam walton first devised their plan to take over the country, they've been waiting for a wimpy compromiser with ideals to start "running the country." they successfully installed pharmacies all accross the country that sell generic drugs to people. the machinery is there. once he is re-elected, the plan goes into motion. phase three of the mortgage crisis pulls half of the oil money out of the stock market. the economy really tanks. martial law in several cities. unemployment goes to 20 percent. the end of democracy is in sight. the facists start to salivate. black tahoes with tinted windows start showing up at visionaries doors and end their access to the rest of humanity. a supervirus is released on the interwebs to keep people from knowing the truth. the super virus which monitors all interweb communications and sends payments of hush money or detains the ones who wont shut up. the system first tested at in seattle, at gitmo and then in the gulf.
at gitmo they wanted to see if americans REALLY cared about freedom.
"we caught these demons. they hate your freedom. we could let 'em loose but we'd rather torture them? or we could let them loose. your choice. turn on that faucet, grab my board."
Seattle was like spring training for the facist overlords. " just testing our suppression systems, nothing to see here. the 'free-speech zone' is behind the far portapotties."
in the gulf they tried to see if they could truly squelch free speech and the answer was a resounding yes. just as our ancestors gladly took cash in order to kill savages and take their land, we have alwyas been dog eat dog here in our country. its as american as dog pie? who wants some doggie ala mode?
the question was easy with presidential backing. he was in charge of smoothing over the network execs, quietly giving out raises, country club memberships, boats, hookers, chronic, whatever their little vice was in return for the absolute CAP on frontline coverage of the gulf. on cnn i saw an ocean govt official dude tell congress that he he found 464 sea turtles. 60 dolphin and a sperm whale that washed up on land. wheres the picture of the sperm whale? certainly thats news? \
THEY KILLED FLIPPER 60 times already. you can see it on the BP truck drivers windows. like WWII pilots they paint another spremwahle on their door, right above the 60 porpoise silohettes.

ok then....just telling the world i know...anxiously awaiting the tahoe with the tinted windows....maybe ill get some writing done in jail if fighting off the sodomites doesnt prove too taxing....i'e been getting ready for jail my whole life...what do you think all the rugby was about anyway?











but goals are so

Sunday, July 18, 2010

someone get the williams sisters on the phone
theres a 46 year old moron ex-rugby player on utube sweating and grunting
purporting to be doing "williams sisters workout for aging weekend warriors"
alot of squatting
now hes flapping his arms like a bird
hes really not selling alot of product
is kind of repulsive
make it stop, god someone, make it stop

Saturday, July 17, 2010

the woodchuck couldn't see me thru the closed patio door
he was munching on some broadleafed weeds
suddenly i knew where the boston lettuce disappears to....

neatly nibbled to a nub nightly

doesnt care for or hasnt found the swiss chard yet
he grabs off a leaf in his mouth
pops up on his hindquarters chewing insouciantly
leaf hanging out of his mouth
peeping left right
then back for another
sniff sniff
pops up again
looks like dandelion greens

"mind your manners at the dinner son", grunts papa woodchuck from the cannibis patch
the adopted porcupine sisters giggle at their silly papa
mama woodchuck and brother woodchuck have been digging up the compost pile and eaten up the fermenting fruit there
theyre channelling the doors and laughing loudly
woodchucks dig the doors

^FROM WIKIPEDIA^: "...*woodchucks were said to be the indian animal spirit guide of the lead singer of the doors, jim morrison. the previous woodchuck story is one he was working on at the time of his death. he was reinventing himself to take over childrens tv as a result of the many maternmity cases that his label would pay to go away. he knew there were a nations of mojos rising all over the usa, and it was his mission to educate them properly and the onlyu was to do that was on the public airwaves as they lived all over the country. Mr. Rogers was introducing him to the puppets in the new season of his show until given a heroin overdose by g gordon libby on direct orders of the president."

god sure has a wicked sense of humor
went to the tracks and obvious horses jumped off the page
was jumping around between win place show bets and tri and exactas
two longshots ran with the faves a few races back
one beat the fave
he was 35-1
i put him with the other longshot at 9-1 and sprikled in the faves with the rest of my cash
12-4-9 paid 867.00 for a buck
the 4 was the fave
i had 12-9-4 which pays THOUSANDS
i did not box it beacause of a short funds issue but I FELT IT
and it made me sick
thanks god!
i must not need the cash at this point in time....

Thursday, July 08, 2010

model search for my end of the world issue
bikinis and tarballs
may as well make some money off of environmental apocalpse
ill put an ad on craigslist and take the digital camera to the beach
and take some photos
fashion mavens are already trying to frame black spots as "free maryilyn monroe beauty marks"
take a dip in the gulf
come out looking like a legendary screen hottie
the shit should be shut down in mid august
by
BPs estimates
they have a history of truthfullness
u can trust them
JEEEEEZ
i better get cracking on my book if its ever going to be dome before the end of the world
thats a pretty good deadline
the wheels are going to fall off sometime this winter
so the book has to be slammed out now
no more sleep
this is truly a DEADLINE
when the first school of dolphins wind up dead on the shore
thats when you wil know what the toxic capacity of the ocean is RE number of parts per million in oil
the smarter fish are migrating
the dumb ones are migrating
organisms are designed to move away from toxins
hell this is a just evolution at lightspeed
the seas were getting used to micro amounts of plastic in the food chain
as the texas sized floating reefs of plastic bottles degrade into bite sized chunks that made their way into the food chain
this is just a little faster
buy a shotgun
buy lots of shells
play some R.E.M. at the high decibel levels
get out of the cities before the shit hits the fans
they will close off the expressways with military troops when they impose martial law to proetedt the residents of the richer areas from the starved and crazed roving mobs of looters