waiting for my muse in a dark alley with an aluminum bat

unedited pure neanderthal musings NeANDERThallus's DONut EDiT!!! historical records from my cave walls... brutality, menial labor, minor victories, hot sexy interludes....... 3 years on the edges of a society that i cant distance myself enough from

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since 2005 i've been picking at this keyboard. the thoughtstreams flow, who knows from whence they came, or to whence they go? enjoy the ride...... i am

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

i ate a bowl of evil today for breakfact
some poor cow was kept in a state of perpetual pregnancy
pumped with hormones
her calf ripped from her teat to be put in a box to make veal parmesean
the milk was then put in a huge truck which runs on dinosaurs souls,
dinosaur souls which when released into the world kill polar bears.
the truck goes to a huge factory which is making layoffs and cutting health plans and still puts the ma and pop milk producers out of business.
in the factory milk is boiled killing all the active enzymes and living nutrients, then its put into a container also made of dinosaur souls which was also trucked here from the middle of a desert full of hostile idle rich people who hate us or from the last rain forest in africa where they use rape and intimidation to make obscene profits all while destroying pristine forests, the last of their kind, the lungs of the world.
the milk is then trucked to a the market burning more souls to be enjoyed atop raisin bran.
raisins which are harvested by illegal immigrants whose lives are ruled by fear who piss in the neighboring spinach fields because they dont get bathroom breaks and when miguels gotta go miguels gotta go. wage slavery which is winked at by the government who regulary warns the multinational conglomerates who own miguels family when they are coming by so there is no break in productivity and profits. raisins that are then trucked in the above manner to a place where they make the wheat flakes which also taste like oil because of unsustainable modern farming practices which pump the flakes full of pesticides and fertilizers but the government sends them a check every year to support them and keep the dinosaur souls burning. a system is so wonderful that there is an acceptable level of mouse and rat feces per bushel of wheat which reaches our table still tasting more of oil than any other flavor. a government that cant even begin to try to focus on this question even tho the president is jesus christ.

i think this would make a wonderful childrens book

you gotta start early with the education of the future

before the tv takes hold of their supple minds and fills them with the consumptive curse.
the insatiable appetite

im thinkin really cute dinosaurs who are having a great time in heaven, chilling with biggie and tupac
and then are ripped out of heaven as their souls are burned which makes them angry and godzilla like in their wrath

which is the horror movie component of this package that im shopping around this year on the festival circuit
the sitcom folows the hilarious antics of miguel in his struggle to stay in this country
why not a sitcom about illegal workers?
it would be a hit!
call it lucy
but focus on ricky ricardo
write a script for the new lucy....
get it greenlighted, with SHAKIRA playing the role lucille ball made famouss because
then start adding the subversive migrant laborer pieces step by step because they test well in the focus group of retards with too much disposable incomes which is the key demographic

Monday, July 27, 2009

npr says there is a dearth of foreign language speaking translators at hospitals
people die from this and hospitals get sued
time to go to a local hospital and sit in and learn spanish as a volunteer while asking everyine in the world for that job
develop a curriculum of easy foreign medical terms
teach the course
save lives
be a hero
even better
get a group of kids interested in it
troubled spanish kids save their lives by getting them on a career track
step one:
start volunteering at los hospitalos
step two;
shake the money tree
shake some more
find the funding from these goddam global health giants
be ahead of the curve
save highschool kids lives
make a cofy living
people who want to live shouldnt die because of hospital mistakes
its a growing business
maybe i should make up a dictionary of terms for hospitals to use
sell it as an ebook
so everyone can benefit
and the world can leave me alone every month at rent time
god i hate paying rent
friggin lords
damn feudal system

Sunday, July 26, 2009

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7eakZLScnho&NR=1

this is my philosophy
or was
you cant tell me that cypress hill has anything on these guys
"life is just a blunt and a blunt is my life"
are you kidding me?
of course that party lifestyle isn't for everyone
people die and go crazy from high quality mary jew wanna
but
WHAT ELSE U GONNA DO?
shit
of course i was way too busy trying to break my neck playing rugby and eat all the mushrooms in the world when these fellas were doing there thing
thats the thing to being self absorbed
the world exists and its out there but living as if convinced you have all the answers
that you know everything
its blinders of the sickest kind
but thats the journey
go from knowing everything
to knowing nothing
from achieving
to just breathing

that which does not kill us makes us stronger
and im the incredible hulk

Saturday, July 25, 2009

as christ put it
to paraphrase
"the great among you shall serve the weak"
so i guess ill open up a chain of jesus themed eateries
only hiring great people
like me
until then i guess ill pick up some waitering shifts here and there
god told me to tell you the specials
god wants me to refill your water glass and not to forget that extra salad dressing on the side
its good to finally acccept your role
to know that god has your back
now i can start aging gracefully

Sunday, July 19, 2009

a puny plan
do well in the hi buy in tourney in september at the borgata
win a winters worth of money
spend the winter in the nova scotia desolation of wintery beauty
go crazy
or churn out some words
if i find a way to $$$tay there,
why wouldnt i wait out armageddon in the craggy wilds ?
and if mankind somehow survives this clusterfuck,
what better place to live with global warming than what will the jersey shore of the 2020's
the small town canadians cant wait to sell out their dying fishing townes and hamlets
they are all hoping tourists come
maybe after the great plague......

Thursday, July 16, 2009

a sweaty blonde heifer walks into a bar.....
she asks for a can of coors light
"how much does that cost?"
"that's the only 2 dollars i have, so ill have to tip you next time"
"i'm meeting someone here, do you know someone named billy?"
fat billy i ask?
he cleans the toilets
but hes married, and he really loves her, calls her "the queen" he does
her phone rings
"where are you? i heard you were fat"
"he fucking hung up on me, the asshole"
he did u a favor, if hes rude at the beginning it will only get worse
nazi john mutters something unintelligible
nazi john always is mutterin unintelligble things
the beer doesnt help
hes had several
i say
" welcome to the shamrock "

as the day progresses for our merry trio it becomes apparent to me that shes meeting someone from a dating line
i tell he im gay
that i love older men like the nazi and "isnt he cute"
she is properly disgusted, tho dubious
billy calls back and says the only tiong fat about him is his dick
her phone rings again
she describes herself as busty, which is true, but leaves out the part about the huge saggy ass
she tells potential suitor number two that her can pick her up a the bar ,
but he shouldnt come in
"they're predjudiced in here"
nazi john doesn't like jew and may have mentrioned it too her
in between her asking him "what are you staring at?"
"you don't even remember my name do you?"
"it begins with a d"
i guess delores and start calling her that
nazi john says "dummy"
she understood THAT word
i try to explain that john is a veteran with brain damage from artillery shells exploding too close to him
shes understanding
and she is only looking for companionship, she says...
i mention to her how hot i think nazijohn is when hes not drooling
she doesnt belive me when i say i dont have any pot on me and miraculously finds more money
i can tell shes the kind of girl that likes to flirt for drinks, but im gay
so she just makes demands
claims thats from her jewish mothers side
her dad was german irish
nazijohn does a seig-heil
she asks if he wants to kill her
he says "no dummy"
and buys her a drink
i love nazi john

pussies that cant handle their booze infuriate me
they give alcoholics a bad name
i could not agree more that alcohol IS NOT FOR EVERYONE
my hot tennis partner is korean and her body treats it like poison
maybe shes from the same tribe that came over the landbridge and got all those nice smallpoxxy blankies from the nice white men
alcohol is not for people with weak minds and/or addiction problems
it can tantalize your belly every day around five
but who runs the show?
you or anheiser busch?
alcohol, when used properly, reframes the world
so you are a pussy with DUI's?
WAAAAAAH
dont blame the booze
blame the faulty wiring in your brain
pussy
i was in a sorry state yesterday
moping
the weight of the universe on my shoulders
a shot of extra fine tequila later i was smiling
and the world was not as shitty
(even tho it was)
anything that can turn my grumpy world weariness into applesauce and hula hoops is fine by me

im spozed to mope?
not bloody likely

if you are a pussy that cant handle your booze i feel sorry for you
i teach a seminar in alcoholism
ill be your consultant
ill dig deep into your brain to tell you why you have such a problem with the god bacchus
to blame the grape is insane
part of the whiny victims culture we have in this country
our breeding stock is being weakened on purpose
poussies that would have never outrun a sabretooth tiger are making more of their kind
shitting three times a day
fouling the genepool and the suddenly tiiny earth
7 billion is too many
8 billion is worse
mother nature has a doozie up her sleeve
a grand correction
apologize to your kids for bringing them into this burning house
its thirty years too late to have a jesus baby to save the world
jesus would be in middle school right now, but we'd have heard of him
unless obama is new jesus
ok
but hes the last hope
and he hasnt really stepped on any greedy rich fucks toes yet
i heard citibank described by an ex-employee as a greedy octopus that attatches itself to your face and sucks and sucks until every last dollar is extracted
we are doomed because of entities like them
the problem is money
the solution is to eliminate it
but that would make things way to hard for the princes of the world
people will figure it out
will start hungering for the fine marbled flesh of the billionaire
todays specail
flank of hilton, briased in brandy and rosemary over new potatoes with a mangoe chutney

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

depending on the time of day and my mood the flashes i catch of my torso fill me with self loathing or impress me with my manly bulk

the power is there, unmistakeably

but so is the flab

i think the flab is carrying the day, but....

its a powerful fat body

not a soft fat body

the is a prick that lives inside of me that wont let me get too sloppy

that is not above starving or exercise while at the same time being disgusted at the narcissism of exercise as practiced in the world today

the echos of infomercials selling fat pills, gyms, miracle herbs and food plans

sandwiched between meat and pizza and beer ads

designed to trigger the voracious binger

the locust

the crop ruiner



there are health reasons to lose the gut

but again

do i want to live forever

more of the same?

yeah 30 more years of this bliss, o boy!

maybe more!

wheee



the gut has a purpose

the gut keeps hordes of women away

keeps them from polluting my thoughts with their own neurossi,

repeated and becoming almost tangible as the relationship progesses



maybe i catch a break in september when i play my next big buy in game

maybe i break through and stop the penny worries

maybe i embrace the moment and allow the cards to find me at the right time and take advantage of a situation and give myself the opportunity to really go crazy in the nova scotia beach house all winter long

one nice score and hello long monklie winter of self reflection

one nice score and i have space and opportunity to really tweak the finer thoughts i occasionally think

when my mind is away from the day to day bullshit that accompanies a dwindling funding stream

i will PROBABLYquit drinking just to keep from having to find a job

if i quit drinking i buy myself another month of rent and i cool thru september and by then the tennis hustle will happen again and the banquet season starts anew

and shit

why am i stressing?

ive got life by the balls

living the dream

my own boss

its just that my boss is a drunk and if thats the case then u can never predict what the future will bring

im the dude who can live on less money than any other person

im frugaller than scrooge

if the lesson of life it that you sell your hours for dimes

i aint selling

id rather live on my own terms

working for who i want when i want

not contributing to some fascists capitalist wet dream

BUM LIFE

yeah

i forgot who i was for a second

i dont panic

i do me

i have my eye on the big picture

ill figure this last little piece out

ive got a team of neurons on the job now

some of my finest neurons are working 24 a day 7 a week tangentially on this

the solution is nigh

Sunday, July 12, 2009

the bluejays are huge from all the cat food they've been feasting on
even saw a little catbird in the food bowl too
the jays are loud and raucous, like seventh graders
i put the dish under a chair on the front porch and thought id foiled them
but dems wily boids dey iz
i came upon a jay under the chair on the porch
screeching at me as he flew away
azz azz hole
AZZ AZZ HOLE

the two fat ones would flutter throught the treetops as i sat on the porch with the cat
on surveillance missions
and seeing me put them in ill humr
even if i stayed completely still
i came up with a new theory about eyes and tried it out
i put a stuffed bear out there,
sitting in a chair above the food,
to see what they'd do
it seemed to be working
i wasnt filling the catfood dish multiple times anymore
but i did see one of the fat ones on the porch hopping over
son of a bitch
now the bear is on the floor next to the dish
it would take one bold bird to defeat this security measure
we shall see
it takes a bird brain to out think a bird
and the fucking deer ate my cabbage
it was so pretty yesterday
now its practically a stump
GRRRRR
varmints!