all the great thoughts
already thunk
all that it is ours to do is to endure
all the slings, arrows, etcetera
all of the inhumanities and inanities
forcing me to become a cosmic jokester
pretending that i am in on the jest
laughing along with the cruel gods
instead of getting my hands dirty
under the hood
fixing the unfixable
laughter at the pain
if you arent laughing then the joke is on you
laughter is the way the body releases stress and axiety
that it is our turn to suffer
oh hahaha
not yet
man it sucks to be that guy
that was a close one
haha, still alive
laughin at the assholes
who think they know everything
who think themselves masters of all
who cant see the nozzle of the galactic enema bag
ready to cleanse them and their intestinal ilk away
laughing at the boot on my throat
its when i stop laughing that the danger will come
when i decide that i am karma
i right the tables
i write the fables
kids stories
writing the kids stories that are beloved by all
then using them as metaphors for the uprising
the one in which we eat the rich
with their marbled flesh
mmm
thats good yuppie
put another ceo on the barbie would you honey?

tee shirt weather
early november
i cant remember
a day so beautiful

cutting up a fallen tree
the chainsaw and me
dog nowhere to see
whats up with that?

i turn the saw off
bathe in the sound of the brook
running full from heavy rains
the sun begs me to take a nap
not today my friend

the tree is bent from the pressure of the creek water
its half submerged
theres tension in the trunk
which is bent unnaturally
this is how chainsaw accidents occur

but not today

its too pretty a day to die
so i think it through
saving my toes and fingers for later adventures
not slashing open my femoral artery on a kickback
not today

id try for the creek if it happened tho
get the recycling of my body started
blood flowing downstream to feed microbes
flesh for the crayfish to tear into
eyeballs for the crows to enjoy
if they are quick enough
and there comes the dog now
smelling his supper

i made it thru the week on 2195 last week
2195 was the earthlink bill
since the debacle with the student loan people ive been bankless
and the 2195 money order was just sitting there
off to the liquor store and the italian market
potatoes 5 lbs for 2 bucks
2 pounds of onions cost another
six cloves of garlic are another
another dollar gets me alotta spinachill take my chances with ecoli
at the liquor store there a liter of seagrams 7 for 12
that takes care of four days of food and fun
five bucks left
savalot has frozen ground turkey for 89 cents and i need protien so i get two
some spaghetti sauce and pierogies without trans fat
i have a buck for a huge box of little debbie oatmeal pies
i decide i need my trans fat to live
i mean what is life without transfat?
unlivable
i find two cans of cheap tuna in the cupboard, some oatmeal and some peanuts
and the week is over right when i run out of food
no mayo
youd be surprised how good tuna is with french dressing
the french dressing almost masks the unmistakeable taste of dolphin
tuna this cheap takes a gourmet touch to keep down

i stumble across some cash the day i run out of food
god lookin out for morons again i guess
i try every day not to fuck the mailman up
i know hes the one responsible
hes the one that "lost" my check
and my new yorkers
and my postcard from vermont with sheep on it
the lazy fucker probably throws mail out when he doesnt feel like working
wouldnt you?
so i love his pluck
his anarchist approach to his job
but not when it causes a delay in the delivery of my state genius grant checks
the ones they send unemployed geniuses
so they dont become too sad
it almost causes me to shave and clean up and look nice for potential employers
i hope this doesnt have to happen
but theres an inevitablity about it
like when theres a new guy on the landing team in star trek you know hes doomed
i can feel the alien presence taking over my mind
telling me to conform
to work
to be respectable
spock and kirk are trying to help me
but the alien is really up in there
phasers have no effect
kirk overacting, urging me to "fight it man HANG ON MAN"
spock telling me there is no logical reason for me to get a job while the state is sending me cash
in an even eerier event my waiter bud shows up outta nowhere
hes a sculptor
living as cheaply as possible
who lived in his sculpting studio for a while
there were one or two late night artists there who would keep him up at night
but mostly he could sleep
hes a nude model now
makes 16 an hour
i wonder if they like to paint fat dudes?
im going to practice standing on my head for an hour at a time
so i can give them something interesting to paint or draw
just think how my balls will look hanging down over my belly
or will they slip out the other side
what valuable experience that will be for the art students
i may be able to charge more that 16 for that
oh yeah
and only 83 more to go
holding on to a dream is tough work
not for pussies
so my dream is not to work again
i cant help it if i dreamed it
it sure beats latting an alien mind take control of my body
telling me to lift that
proofread that
fax this to their accounts recievable number
bring me the dessert tray
dig it three feet deeper and a foot wider
lesson plans are due fridays before noon
be at this address at 530 am
hold it right there
license and registration
punch in and out on the computer terminal at your workstation
the activity report shows that you were idle for 30 minutes
your output is ten to fifteen percent above average, but your pay remains the same
it an OPTION to leave early, not a garuntee
theres a mandatory 4 hours overtime on saturdays
taxes average 30 percent of every paycheck
tote that barge
lift that bale
owe my soul to the company store

bike church
fixing bikes with anarchists in the basement of a church on sunday night
theres a football game on
this is better
they dont fix the bikes for you
they guide you thru the process
pointing at at things with odd technical names
telling you what you are going to do next
and you say
yeah right
its very frustrating if you are mechanically disinclined as i am
but they just walk away after telling you what you are doing next
so its fish or cut bait
they walk around
another anarchist will tell you the same thing in a slightly different way
then he or she will walk away
its the one thing they all have in common
they all walk away
and me with abandonement issues
so i suck it up
rooting thru boxes and boxes of salvaged nuts, washers and bolts
looking for the magical nut that fits my weirdo derailer
the one that no one has ever heard of
my lack of movement and numb stare seems is a cue that ive reached a stopping point
and another one appears to help me DIY
do it yourself
two and a half hours later ive got greasy hands and a better running bike
not giving meat up quite yet
but the nest time im in there and the kids are stealing tools ill stop them
i didnt have the words to do it
the non threatening tones
the cool
but ive slept on it and the words are
yo dudes, i need that tool you were using over there
can you help me find it please?
then they can help me find it
and ill try not to notice them taking it out of their jacket pocket
and the tools will say in the shop
for all to use

fuck the bike fixing mafia

fuck curtis and his handlebars of capitalist wet dreams
nahhh
hes ok
hes just not getting another dime from me
he can prey on the yuppies in the towne houses
i mean service them

my bike cost a dollar to fix for the cable
the cable i priced at 9 bucks in the bike shoppe
then theres labor
and i had to do a chore
swwep the floor
save the nuts
so you see
this is about nuts too
and now its 84 to go