the romans built the colesiums to distract the unwashed masses
bread and circuses
life and death
the show must go on
the opiate of the masses
wait
that was church
artificial construsts to get us thru the day and into tommorrow
i cant wait to see the final episode of...
its sure to be the realest and funniest and mosst poignant and moving simulation of life every done
and i will witness this thought ten times removed and filtered from the actual thinking\
from the actual spark of the neuron firing
then scribbling of the thought
then the tyong of the thought
then the editing of said thought
marketing the synaptic impulse
synergized by add ons of different nerons
thru casting filming post production more marketing
and now the thought monster is out there
frolicing amongst the other transmitted realitiies
bouncing among the daisies
rolling down the hill
laughing girlish laughter
on a little house
on a prairie somewhere in the midwest, .maybe missouri
as laura ingalls wilder imagines and scibbles by candle light
in her cabin on the frontier
the perfcet vehicle
with which to sell feminine hygeine products
one hundred and fifty years hence
when she imagines it will be a bigger problem than dunk your coochie in the well, hun
and remind me to massacre a cherokee on my way back from gettin ma her laudnum
things are different today....

Big business fans everywhere were wondering about how the franchise self described as the gold standard would react to the public relations tsunami that was its recent talent aquisition. When your corporate monopoly is a beloved regional juggernaut, you get used to steamrolling your critics. This signing of a convicted felon to a franchise who has always prided itself on hiring only men of the highest character has raised the level of our expectations for fans of corporate doublespeak. Our beloved regional franchise did not dissappoint.

The timing of the press release detailing the recent signing was impeccable. While most of the organization was engaged in a field testing of their product running at near capacity, the PR department leaked the release one quarter of the way through this field test. All vital personnel were focussed on the test so it was in effect a classic "soft opening". Post-test all of the questions nautrally had to do with the new aquistion and very little to do with the sub par performance of the asset protection division. Which was their first stroke of genius. The field test indicated it we were likely to lose ten million dollars in assets fairly easrly on in the upcoming business cycle. New of this nature would generally panic the media covering this franchise, but they acted as the PR department masterminds predicted they would and focussed on the felon who happened to kill a kitten or two in heinous fashion in his past life, and not on the looming, crippling loss of assets.

Here is where the second masterstroke was painted. The manager of the team answered furious question after furious question (they are rabid fans of big business in our hamlet) by playing the god card. Saying that it was the christian thing to do, to give the man a second chance, and what kind of terrible people were these media types to not let the adjudicated and rehabilitated new member of the corporation come in and earn his living. Who were they to judge and render opinion? He then cited his celebrated monomaniacal nature, noting that he had to ask himself at the end of the day did this make our corporation more competitve and the answer was yes. He also invoked the crowd pleasing battlefield analogies, comparing his corporations successes to those of our nation and how he hoped to satisfy the regional bloodlust by the hiring a true mercenary, feared for his cold blooded nature and killer instinct.

The next day, with the local scribes still in a frenzy, the owner of the corporation made a heart felt speech about how "conflicted" he was about the signing. In business we call thisblic record that plausible deniability. He puts it in the public record that he trusts his management team, but reserves the moral highground and thus has it both ways. His wife can now still attend charity functions and continue the blue blood lifestyle as usual by saying she laid down the law to , he can say I'm still not sure and still reap the rewards of having the most talented roster of sociaopaths money can buy because lets face it, he was purchasing damaged goods at fire sale prices, but that is how great wealth has always been accumulated, buying distressed assets, haw haw haw, good show old boy, would you like another Pimms cup? The owner thus has his management team on the hook for the decision, successful mangers have much in common with fascists afterall, but the only successful ones get rehired, good luck on your upcoming business cycle, and the public has been shown that the owner has compassion afterall but also wants to win. Having the cake and eating it too.

The fourth brilliant PR move of our beloved regional business monopoly came during the regulary scheduled managers radio appearance on the local business network. The manager said, this is America and second chances are what America is all about. His lapdog in the press then asked him if his recent family crisis with his sons had anything to do with his thinking and of course that was part of the process. His sons needed a second chance and he was grateful they got them and all of a sudden he is not just the manager but the adpted father of this recently acquired felon. Genius.
Finally they had to find a way to quiet the howling taking place on the call in shows where the masses had their say, where the common business fan could have his say and where the steamroller of public opinion gains its power. Half of the fans swallow the
PR machines cake and are happy to have a chance to finally share the impending ultimate corporate victory during the upcoming business cycle. They think at lng last they have the final piece of the puzzle. They bleed the corporate colrs, want to give the second chance and maybe taste the sweet sweet taste of supporting the yearly regional corporate champion. There are minority callers who call in to saythat if you do not support the felon it is abvious that you don't because of the racism that stilll exists in our society and this further muddies the thinking about the situation.
The final master stroke is to portray the corporate detractors as strident shrill blue state types who have nothing better to do than support the cause of animal rights and you now how crazy they are and by the corporate koolaid has been seasoned just right. To be against this corporation is to be against family values, christianity, MLK and the United States of America. Which is why they are the gold standard. Rising against nightmarish PR odds to muddy everyones thinking with something that not only we can rally around but things the corporate detractors should be ashamed of and go corporation go! Go Corp Go!

disgusted by my football team yet again
we signed a dog butcher this week
he will play ball in my backyard
time for me to get my creaky bones off the chair and shoo him away
damn millionaire kids
get off my lawn you got damn millionaire dog butcher
GET THE EFF OUT OF MY BACKYARD!!!!

Doritos advertises on the nfl
i am calling on all my minions to send their doritos back to dorito land
ask for the money back
satifaction is garunteed
say the doritos taste like tortured dogs
spread the word

dear doritos dudes:
i liked your product until altely
i used to eat piles and piles of them
i weigh 300 pounds and eat a bag a day
until recently when i tasted the unmistakeable taste of tortured pitbull
is that your new flavor?
ZESTY tortured pitbull flavor dorito chips
proud sponsor of the NFL

i always wanted to live in a rainforest
i thought id have to travel to brazil to live there
but it seems like im living in one now
every morning the trees dripping
ground squishing
grass gone wild
32 days of rain this summer
time to buld the ark
invest in mold

thanks to the good people at glowarmco

here at glowarmco we fill the air with chinese carbon dioxide from factories operating 24 hours a day
unless the olympics are in town
true story
they shut their mighty economic engine down so the athletes wouldnt die from gulping their toxic atmosphere
at glowarmco we feed you the meat you monkeys crave
in africa the waterbuffalo massacres are devestatin
groups of apes will descend from the trees
and attack an unsuspecting water buffalo
the lead chimp slams him with roids, the next steals his infant son to put in a box in a tree for waterbuffveal later
isnt nature great?
nature is about aggression
WE WON
WE WON
its only natural to be this way
we are following our instincts
our brains havent caught up yet
but thats why we as a species are creating super hard complex new problems for our brians to figure out
this is the age of the genius
or the new jesus
someone is going to have to bail the world out
obama is taking baby steps in the right direction
his efforts are being duly
(editors note: dully, in troof, dully)
duly noted by some nascent genius in the womb or in the crib
hell
maybe its so big a job we need twin jesi
the twin jessus
jesi to do the job and save the world
but the old love approach might not yeild results this time
we need a good strong leader with facist tendencies
and just pray you are in the in group this time around
because its going to be ugly....

im never the worst dude at the poker table
and i see my past selves there
as well as my future selves
i will scratch myself a living from this game
its math
its psychology
its luck
its manipulations of fear
its decision making
i know how to make mathematical
psychological
karmatically inspired
mulish calls
and learned from them all