from the brink of broke
i now approach fiscal sanity
soon it may not be so ridiculous to be lending me money
i may even pay some people back
to their shock
by refusing to take pure shit jobs
maintaining a steadfast resolve to be a bum
on my terms i enter the workplace
because i want to have something to do during the day
because people are funny
because fucking with peoples heads is vastly entertaining
and lastly, because i recognise the need
the temporary need
to have funds available so the landlord doesnt has to send the sherrif to my door again to evict me
i answerewd the door barefoot and topless
the sherriff
dreadlocked and six two told me to grab my stuff
i declined
luckily the landlord was on the steps
and the check WAS in the mail
and he was kind enough to believe me
and gave me five days to pay this months rent
and the nice sherriffs fee and court costs of 225$
anh tran was not fucking around
his little illegal fillipino gal had a new lock
standing behind the sherriff
three steps down
calling anh tran to say that i was on my way down
he had a crew of three dudes coming in too
to put my shit on the street
he found other work for them
one of them is the chinese delivery man
i was talking to him in the cellar as they were removing the broken washer and oil tank
they had to cut the tank
to get it out
and the whole apartment smelled like an EPA site for the summer
every time i had the window open id get a little lightheaded
and he didnt even charge me extra
so that was a bonus
the sand they threw on top of the oil spill didnt do anything but give the smell volume
i think you're supposed to sweep the sand up or something
but its still there
our own little beachfront oil spill in the basement
and im finally back on line again after the assholes at earthlink had the audacity to shut my service down only 2 and a half months in arrrears
dont theose philistines know im a fucking artist?
that the world needs my words?
they were unmoved by my alleged artistry
so i was off the grid for a piece
now im back
with the worlds slowest and cheapest internet provider
and whenever earthlink calls me from pakistan
i explain to the heavily accented telemarketer that earthlink cost me valuable time in my job hunt
that i was using their service to find work
and they apologize
and ask when i can pay
and i tell them when i find a job
andask if they are hiring there
and if i need a work visa to work in their country
if they have a place for me to stay while i get back on my feet
if they can send me plane fare
because im good for it
im a very good very hard worker
they usually hang up on me after i laboriously explain the relationship between work and money
for the third or fourth time
how they impeded my job search
that it was THEIR fault i wasnt working
and should i start working again
they are at the bottom of my pay back list
due to their heineous mannes and rude behavior
and can i talk to a manager
i purposely use words that will build their vocabulary
its the teacher in me
im sorry, sir, im unsure what is the meaning of this word langorous?
we are sorry to have interrupted your langorous job search
i now approach fiscal sanity
soon it may not be so ridiculous to be lending me money
i may even pay some people back
to their shock
by refusing to take pure shit jobs
maintaining a steadfast resolve to be a bum
on my terms i enter the workplace
because i want to have something to do during the day
because people are funny
because fucking with peoples heads is vastly entertaining
and lastly, because i recognise the need
the temporary need
to have funds available so the landlord doesnt has to send the sherrif to my door again to evict me
i answerewd the door barefoot and topless
the sherriff
dreadlocked and six two told me to grab my stuff
i declined
luckily the landlord was on the steps
and the check WAS in the mail
and he was kind enough to believe me
and gave me five days to pay this months rent
and the nice sherriffs fee and court costs of 225$
anh tran was not fucking around
his little illegal fillipino gal had a new lock
standing behind the sherriff
three steps down
calling anh tran to say that i was on my way down
he had a crew of three dudes coming in too
to put my shit on the street
he found other work for them
one of them is the chinese delivery man
i was talking to him in the cellar as they were removing the broken washer and oil tank
they had to cut the tank
to get it out
and the whole apartment smelled like an EPA site for the summer
every time i had the window open id get a little lightheaded
and he didnt even charge me extra
so that was a bonus
the sand they threw on top of the oil spill didnt do anything but give the smell volume
i think you're supposed to sweep the sand up or something
but its still there
our own little beachfront oil spill in the basement
and im finally back on line again after the assholes at earthlink had the audacity to shut my service down only 2 and a half months in arrrears
dont theose philistines know im a fucking artist?
that the world needs my words?
they were unmoved by my alleged artistry
so i was off the grid for a piece
now im back
with the worlds slowest and cheapest internet provider
and whenever earthlink calls me from pakistan
i explain to the heavily accented telemarketer that earthlink cost me valuable time in my job hunt
that i was using their service to find work
and they apologize
and ask when i can pay
and i tell them when i find a job
andask if they are hiring there
and if i need a work visa to work in their country
if they have a place for me to stay while i get back on my feet
if they can send me plane fare
because im good for it
im a very good very hard worker
they usually hang up on me after i laboriously explain the relationship between work and money
for the third or fourth time
how they impeded my job search
that it was THEIR fault i wasnt working
and should i start working again
they are at the bottom of my pay back list
due to their heineous mannes and rude behavior
and can i talk to a manager
i purposely use words that will build their vocabulary
its the teacher in me
im sorry, sir, im unsure what is the meaning of this word langorous?
we are sorry to have interrupted your langorous job search
posted by bakeowski | 1:47 AM
|
1 comments
