goodbye yangtzee dolphin
the latest victim of capitalism
believed extinct
even bill gates could not buy a ginger basted, herb encusted, slice of yangtzee dolphin if he had a hankering for it
all gone
none left

there was a dog who would growl at you if you said all gone
funny little thing
all gone, none left...grrrrrrrr
hes probably dead now too
like the dolphins
thats a twenty five year old memory
a little growling dog in a cousins kitchen i think
maybe thirty years since the dog growled

maybe the folks at chinese disney can do a chinese version of flipper
except in this one the fish dies
and everyone cries

oh and the bay of childhood wonder has been declared dead
the bay of pebble throwing
clam collecting
a victim of lawn fertilizer run off and whatnot
progress
progress

we had better start mutating and evolving if we are to survive in this increasingly toxic capitalist wonderland we inhabit
the cost of survival?
our boys in marketing are working on it for you now
what kind of survival were you looking for?
we have the clean air package
the clean water package
the clean food package
you would still be vulnerable to your fellow man with these packages, however
the moneyless are still the greatest plague on our land
a neccessary evil though
who else would pick our organically grown arugula for us?
thats why i reccomend the executive dome
you never need to see a poor person again
if your money holds out

i have the finest pillowcase known to mankind
i stole it from my baybee
she don't like to be called baybee

but im ol schoole

i call my honey baybee

it's a reflex

and if it's a mysogynistic echo
so be it
it's my pattern of thoughti's part of me
and if she doesn't wants to be my baybee
ok
she is free to choose udders
udder milkers
udder lovers
but that wood make me sad

so my fine pillowcase is an item of her wardrobe
i've since returned my keys
but i wanted a piece of history
when i was semi dumped
i want to hang on
why wood'nt eye?

i love to hang with her

so i'll be patient
and sleep with her laundry as my pillowcase
her iconic laundry
possibly her trademark tee-shirt
in the anarchist circles she travels
i put my face on her laundry and smile
as i drift off
and it's a tiny bit better than sleeping alone
and a whole lot sadder than i've bean in a while
and another retarded chapter
in my retarded love life

love finds a way
just give it time
when one you love is suffering
you want to help
even if it hurts your heart to help
thats what loving unselfishly does
love is a gift
not to be hoarded
dont treat your love like you'd treat an eightball of coke at a rugby party
all furtive, nonshary, jealously guarding your precious
share your love
understand that you cant understand the eternal
enjoy the good memories and fondly smile about what might have been
people misunderstand the true nature of love
if you love you should also trust in that love and trust in your loved one
thats how it works
i learned this from my loved one
my precious
my ferocious
my shaggy headed brunette with red highlights
my loyal lover
my rulebreaking anarchist
my eternal/cosmic connection
my teacher of love
my loudly snoring loved one
all jostly and kicky

sloppy kisses aplenty

sharer of the joy of existing

my love tutor

i learned all this and more
from my dog
whenever id bring him to the farm he was happy
running his oafish chopcolate labness around
ears floppy
in and out of the creek after stick
sometimes chasing balls for hours into the pond

it was obvious he belonged out here in the country
instead of sharing my hood domicile
he wouldnt want to get back in the car
hed look at me like
whatdafuck?
why should i hafta leave paradise?
what kinda doggy daddy does dis?
so i left him behind
and he still loves me when he sees me
and now i understand more about my heart from doing what was best for him
the dog has a better life
i will adjust
love forces you too make adjustments
i can sleep alone for a while
i can talk to other dogs on the street
and if my wise dog was never around to support me and show me his unconditional love then i would have a much harder time with her exboy of nine years moving in with her
i would be filled with rage and rancor
id be jealous
if my dog hadnt shared his profoundity with me id be blithely drinking my way through the state store again
like a slower scale leaving las vegas
he and his shopping cart
i cant drink much more than a liter a day
and the same shit seems to lose its impact if you are on it for a few nice benders
so you gotta switch up
cheap rum monday
cheap wine tuesday
weds is for bargainscotch
fridays are made for tequila
vodka all weekend
the water filter is great for making cheap liquor smoother
it turns a six dollar bottle of vodka into a 25 dollar bottle
so ill start my distillery
as a side business
a small vodka label
top end stuff
smooth
hand blown bottles
hand painted, numbered labels
for those who want to celebrate the true baker lifestyle by becoming patrons of the arts when they purchase our 250 dollar a bottle vodkas
and thats wholesale
to you
the readers of my blog
retail is anywhere from 500-1000 bucks
readers of the blog the secret word is love
thats the secret word for vodka savings
love your dog
love your woman
love baker's vodka
coming soon to the nicest places

momentum is building for my newest wacky vision
freight train hopping national rugby tour
twenty guys with their kit bags waiting by the train tracks for a slow moving fright train west
we cant say exactly when we will be to your town for the game
but it will be in a week or so
what is the train cop gonna do to 20 of us?
i have two verbal commitments
17 slots left
pack your rugby shit into your kit bag,
throw a few cans of beans in there, your harmonica
and maybe a five litre box of wine or two
then you're set

its probably a young mans tour
may have to have a sign up sheet at our next college tournament
sell the idea to the college kids we practice with
im going to go to rugby practice this week and see how the old knees feel
push some people around
see if i can generate some rage again
i may have mellowed too much
i cant take another ass kicking like the last one
when the twenty two year olde scotsman fed me my lunch
tried to force my neck out of my ass
i think i remember my knee hurting for a few months after that game
maybe it is too fucked for me to continue
or maybe it was just severely stressed
and has since recovered
forty four is the new thirty seven
i was still playing good rugby at thirty seven
im down to 260
i can hit 245 by mid season and be in reasonable shape with a little focus
but it would mean lifting weights and situps and a lot of running and that sounds like a pain in the ass
but a different pain in the ass than having your neck forced thru your ass by a friggin scot
i hate brave heart
fuck mel gibson
blue faced twat
that movie stunk on ice with the sappy musical interludes
yeah, rage against the mel-chine
the mel gibson machine
yeah
maybe i can get so mad at a shitty movie that i can fool my body into feeling less pain on sundays
situps start tommorrow then

crime wave ended
the love thief retreats again under his bridge
dank and drippy and serene down here
like always
this was an extended foray into the land of lovely
and our troll wandered a bit too far afield
lost his bearings somewhat
forgot his hardwon convictions
it's coming back to him now
avoid the light
hide from joy
run from love
dismaiss it as a fairy tale for the weak
ahhhhhhhh
embrace the dark
slime is your friend
smell is your friend
he had almost forgotten about the corruption in his troll soul
almost was feeling human again for a bit
back to the sweet embrace of failure
ahhhhh
thats the stuff

hunger strike day two
no news from the warden that recognizes my feat
so no food today
its simple willpower
and the principle is sound
finally i am living for my principles
i feel righteous
i feel missionated
my visionquest has begun
in place of a sweatlodge i have a sweaty warehouse
i can picture my next meal
its a tasty morsel too
mmmmmm
i can already taste it