waiting for my muse in a dark alley with an aluminum bat: February 2006

this email arrived in my mailbox after the four hour poker tournament i just played

PokerStars Tournament #20456326, No Limit Hold'em
Buy-In: $20.00/$2.00
180 players
Total Prize Pool: $3600.00
Tournament started - 2006/02/27 - 10:20:41 (ET)

Dear buffalohead,

You finished the tournament in 1st place.
A $1,080.00 award has been credited to your Real Money account.

You earned 309.44 tournament leader points in this tournament.
For information about our tournament leader board, see our web site at
http://www.pokerstars.com/tlb_tournament_rankings.html

so i should keep looking for a job?
thats a pretty good weeks work in four hours
the secret is aggression
i just took this tourney over at the end
it wasnt fair, but the sheep needed fleecing
they wanted to give me their money
and they look cleaner and enater without all that excess fleece
at this rate i may even begin to think about paying back the many wonderful and marvelous people who have sponsored my recent forays into vagrancy and degeneracy
thanks you sheep
IM GOING TO CLAMMY HOUR
oysters .75, clams .50, shrimp .35 and lovely lovely draft beer for 1.99
its a litttle slice of heaven in south philadelphia
2nd and washington, snockeys oyster house
4-6 mon-fri
tell them buffalohead sent you

if you have been trying to call me on a sunday night and found the phone busy, there is a good explanation
i was trying to turn 3 dollars into 1700 dollars
and that took a few hours
as it turned out it was only 45 bucks in the end
but the dream is to turn a little cash into a lot
im a dreamer
my life is a dream
i have my fantasy job that i am designing in myhead
a dry wall job next weekend
pays cash money in the pocket
last week i ripped up dog piss laden carpets
dusty stinky fun
i quit early and watched temple get their ass kicked by duke
my boss understood
hes an ex rugby player who talks of the scientific application of his metal spikes to their fastest players calves and toes and thighs
he winds up becoming a marked man, but slows the opponenet faster guys down
a team player
rugby is the ultimate team game
i used to be the battle troll
holding my own against their behemoths
running into piles hard and liberally applying elbows and headbutts with an occaisional bite if my arms are pinned and its strategic
one time i was in the middle of it and my arms were pinned but i could move one
and with that one i found the groin of the ball carrier and slammed home my urgent request that he let go of the ball we were wrestling for with my other hand and shoulder
the ref was looking right at me
he said he was going to call a penalty on me but he laughed so hard he spit out his whistle

i was asking the wrong questions of lifE
why wont they hire mE
howmi spozed 2 paymyrenT
why does god hate me sO
how come azzholes are born ricH
the question to ask is what do i want to do, what would amuse me, make life tolerable, get my butt out of bed, smiling and eager like in days of yorE
the answer is that i wouldnt be bad at teaching, but not in the traditional rolE
my role is rugby visionary, writing coach, super suB
i like the idea of serving a school, rugby would keep them enthusiastic about coming into the building, something to look forward toO
so i need to write it up like i mean iT
my proposaL
give the school a pricE
and shop it arounD
someone will bitE
then im doing what i wanT
make the contract specific as to what i will and will not do and what it will cost them if they vilate the terms of the agreement as all schools do with their auxillary personneL
write up grants for a rugby program and trips to help the poor unfortunateS
the forgotten kids of the inner citY
who everyone eitehr fears, hates or misunderstands or tries to forget abouT
train the kids to be rugby genius kids and write welL
set up a intermural program, make the gym teacher learn the game, and make the elite squad within the school a team known as "the tutors"
gear them up like maD
so they can give their girlfriends fly jackets and sucH
the tutors would make my job easier as i train them to be writing gurus and rugby studs all at the same timE
make it an honor and trust them and let them either thrive with the respect or mess up and learn a hard lesson from their missteps as they watch their colleagues hit highschool and be successful and get out of town on exciting tripS
i would write grants to find cash and fundraise and try to get help from overseaS
and it is worth doing so whats stopping mE?????/
i dreamt it, time to live it and maybe get enthusaiatic about my limited time on the planeT

i am in an electronic haze
my brain hums at night
like the hum of the good times
the times when my brain zings
the manic phase
does the computer induce this mania
i know im a little schitzy
and i should log off
smell some air
but they keep giving me money
i did not know that there were this many crappy card players in the world
i have to harvest their stupidity before they go broke
i cant make this much money in an entry level job
but i would be leaving the house
and interacting with other humans
so i need to schedule this better
its not a healthy livelihood
but neither has been bartending and some of the other health risking jobs ive had
it is an anti social job
but so many are
and in the final analysis it is paying my rent
my account is in 4 figures
i started with two figures
go figure
hope it lasts
but poker aint about hope
its math
its applied psychology
its punishing the weak
and collecting the rewards for identifying weaknesses in others
they are gambling
im working
and my boss is an asshole
he hates to lose

i have two south facing windows and spend most of my non-computer time involved with them, soaking up the rays through the double-paned glass
its almost tropical
i sit with my jade tree, reading
all the little jade pieces that fell off, i rooted and all is fine
me and my plant and my plants kids
its a vacation from reality
or ill nap with my face in the sun on my bed in the other room
a little bit of south florida sun in south philly
at least it feels that way
i am in the middle of one of those runs of luck that happens from time to time
unless you believe in skill at the poker table that is
i keep winning
winning more than i can earn working for some fool somewhere
running someones business
i won 800 bucks today
i was about even for the day and pissed
pissed that i lost my profit of 120
pissed that the cards were turning on me
so i put it all on the table
460 bucks
soon i had 550 then 660
then a wonderful thing happened
a dude sits down with 600 and raises 24
dying for action i figure
he raises 24 bucks and i look at my tiny little 33 and say to myself, this is the kind of hand where you lose a little or take his stack
it would be a big probelm for me if the flop came out with one three an ace and another large card
id go broke that way
my three of a kind dominated by a larger three of a kind
so i prayed for two threes
and they came
i dont know the odds but i was shaking in excitement
he bet 55 bucks and i called
a ten came out and he bet 120
i raised 120
and he raised me 200
of course i raised all my chips
all of a sudden i have 1200 dollars in front of me
four threes
maybe ill get a tattoo
being the pragmatic sort i left the table before i could get tempted to screw it up
why mess with success
why not leave a big winner for a change
why not see what that feeling is like
and if i like it
i think i do
in the final analysis its just a number on a screen
but its also a plane ticket to amsterdam
and a laptop computer
and next months rent
and a reason not to look to hard for a job tommorow
but a real job will get me out of the house
and get me on the taxmans radar
and get me around people
ideally this poker would supplement my income
be a fun hobby that makes a little cash
now its my job i guess
this will be two months rent in a row from poker
feb and march
and three is right there in my account
and unless i pull a massive boner i will be a little ahead of the game for a bit
so if you call me and the phone is busy its because i am at work
im my own boss and my boss is an asshole
im not crazy yet
maybe the world is not the horrible place ive been imagining lately
maybe theres goodness and light
maybe a sucker catches a break every now and again

medea movie funny
a laugh riot
in this movie opening soon, a black dude dresses like a granny and abuses kids
thats funny
he hits a boy on a school bus
and a girl in the back seat of a car
but thats only the previews
maybe he beats up more kids
and its even funnier as the amount of injured kids increases
what kind of company promotes its product with blatant and public child abuse?
its the movie business
and its all good
see
its a dude in a dress
and its a social commentary about the lapse of norms in the community at large and a celebration of storng black womanhood as portrayed by a dude in a dress
i hope oprah gets involved in this
and i hope shes on my side
ineed oprah on my side

happy valentines day to all of the women who have ever buried their face in my lap and kept their head there, bobbing, using a hand and sticking to it until something wonderful happeneD
that kind of selflessness is what love is all abouT
im glad you learned to do it and i do not care wherE
all i know is im not the guy to teach yoU
happy valentines day to the girl that thought so, and gave it a trY
sorry about your puffy lips the next daY
at that point in my life i was the wrong man to teach you thaT
but you gave it a shot and tahts why i loved you sO
its a shame that you gave me that ultimatum, or we would still be together todaY
i talk to women who reaspect your movE
when you said "im not signing a new lease unless i have a ring on my finger" it was a power move, and good for yoU
but you had a ring on your finger when we met, remember the marinE
the steroid pumped freaK?
the one who would glare at mE?
how would my ring be any differenT?
many a time i wish i had caved in to your demanD
you terrorist of lovE
we would have had beautiful childreN
little rugby playing, cussing geniuses and cutie pie chiquitas with your perfeect personality and large cans that would keep me up at night with worry as they reached their teenS
but i guess when you tell me to do something i generally do the oppositE
orneriness, or stubborness or maybe a belief in the purity of love and sacred vowS
i was going to get therE
but a life time commitment doesnt happen on demanD
and if the thing started with a threat, our love based on an umtimatum, sure its a cute story, but its not our story, because you screwed uP
or were incredibly luckY
it sure didn't take you long to find a new beaU
and i still smile when i remember the story you told me about him being so afraid of my manly rugbyness that he could not have sex with you on the matress we bought togetheR
happy valntines day to the other chick i almost marrieD
i still think you look like julia roberts without the horse teetH
yours were brown and i wondered before i ever kissed you if when we kissed i would be able to taste the tooth decaY
i remember brushing and flossing each evening to show you how dental hygeine workeD
when you turned into a bat/demon that time on mushrooms, i let it gO
its a shame we werent strong enough to survive your monster depressioN
when you said your life was shit, i took it personallY
when i asked what i could do, you said leavE
i was gone the next daY
cause ill do anything for my ladY
this valentine goes out to all the women who i ever was naked with and ever will be that way with agaiN
thankS
xxx ooo
to all the girls in the world
whose toungue and mine entwirled
sharing saliva was a treat
the first taste o so sweet
after that things went all to hell
for reasons we both know well
but the first kiss is always delicious
love nutrients so delicious
happy day of the heart
and the kisses that were the start
of a love game whatever the outcome
and a love poem however it sounds dumb

the glassblower is a homophobE.
two seats down from me at an irish joint, deep in the ehart of south phillY.
not afraid, techincally speaking, "i mean they're fags focchrissake, what are they gonna do, thlap me thillY?"
he's on a roll, he's got an audience, he brings it home for the crowd of two on this thursday afternoon around twO.
"thop that you bitch, im theriously thaddened by your thupititty"
a smile crosses his face as he realizes he said tittY.
he says he really likes titties and begins to tell us why.
i head to the bathroom.
the bartender is trapped.
upon my return the brief intermezzo of titty talk has run it's course,
and hes back, hard at work, explaining his disdain for our more elfin americans.
apparrently new york citie's elfin community welcomed him with open arms an an alamingly regular basis.
he would decline, of course, but it got him thinking about whether he looked like one or walked like one or what exactly he was doing to garner all of this unwanted attention.
elves made him nauseous, because as an artist he is a visual thinker and each offer would result in a new nightmare.
suprisingly, he is a big fan of the new gay cowboy movie.
not the cinematography, or the acting.
the elficide at the end.
hed never go see it in person of course.
to many opportunites for visualiization of the physical act of manly love and the reslting nightmares.
but he read the short story in the new yorker.
in the original latin.
it turned the story in his mind, "from a gross, homo-recruitment vehicle into the feel good movie of the year"
but he reads bukowski, so he can't be all bad.
quotes him to, sometimes as mickey rourke playing bukowski, other times quoating from his readings and reactions to hecklers.
on one such disc, bukowski bellows "catullus"
much as the glassblower had done, moments ago.
i inform the glassblower that catullus was a roman poet who wrote alot about sex and drinking and he says it sounds like good stuff.
i concur and urge him to get his hands on a copy of the 2000 year old poems and spell it for him as i head out into the bright sunshine drunk in the afternoon and everything is perfect in the world.
I smile as i remember the poem about catullus walking along a path and catching a young teen couple coupling on the path and the poets reaction is to jump right in and "impale the lad in much the manner that he had been impaling the lass"
somethig like that, then a few other gems about elfin sucking or being sucked or other forms of artistic sodomy and hopeful that i have started at least one new nightmare.
poems are cool.

poker is paying my rent this month
people like to give me their money it seems
my hobby starting to pay off
bridging the gap in my finances
i am living by off my wits until the job fairy comes by and takes away my freedom
land of the free, but you need a job to be free
wheres the freeedom at work?
if you express yourself at the wrong time youre looking for a new job
and always some asshole telling you what to do
i turned 25 bucks into 400 and the money goes right into my checking account with the click of a few keys and viola', my rent is paid
because i can play a game a little better than some drunk guys on a friday night
now someday some hacker will get me i guess
when he hacks into the database of the internet money changers
thats the catch
thats when i start over
but the man who owns my building will be happy to get my rent
and its important to please THE MAN in your life
i just hope i can soon find an outlet for my energy
its a vague, misdirected energy right now
if i find the correct lens i can fool the world into thinking that im a happnin dude whose got it all figured out
a man with a plan
all i gotta do is figure the plan out
and the dream has not been fully dreamt yet
i have half of a dream
i have dreamt the success part, but the means are blurry
i can see the ends
i know i must justify the means of my dream
sometime
when they see the ends, and boy what a lustrous, shiny, happy ending it is
those means will be justified
as soon as i dream the other half of my dream, that is
i had half a dream
half a dream that the world was no longer being poisoned by assholes
that people got along
that the sons and daughters of hippies and capitalists got together and did away with the fantasy called money
that barter was the name of the game
people dealing with other people to get things that they needed to survive
ill give you a chicken if you paint my fence
ill fill your molar if you tutor my kid
you cant save up favors, and be a favorillionaire
not enuf hours in the day
no trust favor babies
or favornancial dynasties
just people doing things for other people to get what they wanted
sure, in this utopia we'd need protection from the terrorists
thats why every village has a rugby team
id be the village idiot
and happily entertain the children and dogs
who are the only ones who truly "get" me
in all my simplicity
i am a simple country fool
a bumpking
unused to the ways of you city slickers
and hucksters and flim-flam artists
in france all you need to do to get a dog on your side is say
bon sheyn bon bon bon sheyn
their tails wag a mile a minute
bon bon bon
in germany you might want to say schone hunde
in spain bueno gato
oh wait thats a cat
and im lost again
in the backalleys of my mind
trying to make a point somewhere
but forgetting and going with the flow as i peck away
somewhat less a loser today than yesterday
somewhat pleased with the tiny improvements in my mental condition
still pissed about the whole concept of money
maybe you can explain it to me like im a three year old
they dont care about money
so why should i?
dogs dont care about dollars
so holla at me dog
why am i interested in this phony made up random unjust fecal and cocaine tainted concept that some greedy prick came up with thousands of years ago?
oh, because it is the mass delusion that we all cling to
the money god
and i blaspheme
im going to penny hell
im taking the lords name in vain
and now im going to bed
to dream the otehr half of that dream
i hope

my right thumb and index finger go numb at timeS
nerve damage from rugby, i forget if it's c6 or c7
i guess thats the spot on my neck where i push the hardest or somethinG
it used to extend to the middle of my right shoulderblde, but that went away after a season or twO
typing out words is alot more exciting when two fingers are pins and needles, thanking you for the exciting life you've leD
so i meesed up my mind a little and listened to the news yesterdaY
som whiner from the EPA is complaining about budget cuts when over half of americans live in areas that are environmentally unsafE
i bet its not the rich halF
you know who these people arE
the idiots who live in pennsylvania, where the stream water is mercury contaminateD
fools who live in south philadelphia near the oil refineries and their nonstop belching of bennzene, toulen, sulfur smelling noxious stuff right below the EPA levels for exposure, unless, of course, the gauge isn't working right agaiN
the people who eat the poisons that mcdonalds sell are walking EPA siteS
heres a coupon for mcnuggets, oh boy discount oison, give me the 24 pack, ill poison the whol familY
peeople who watch alot of tv are EPA siteS
guilty of deranged and diseased thinking patternS
wanting only to consume more and improve their sagging buttocks, yellow teeth, receding hiarlines, beerguts, mental capacities and love liveS
all prey for the velociraptor called captialisM
dont worry be happy, it cant be as bad as that whiner from the EPA sayS
with his 7.1 billion dollars burning a hole in his pocket, tied up in legal fees with corporations that then write the expenses ofF
sure we need 31 billion for homeland security, i know im not feeling secure enuf, and buy som more bullets while youre at it georgy boy, iran isnt gonna just roll over when we go in there like these pussy iraquis are doinG
why should i even get a job and pay taxes to these idiots to misspenD
yeah, im a patrioT
i refuse to work in a society that misspends my taxdollars so heinouslY
cue the national antheM
i aint buying no more bullets for oil bullieS
yeah, patriotism rockS

memory is the secret to cheap living as i dO
i remember the shit i have to do for money to come my way and am filled with such revulsion that i gladly eat oodles of noodles for a week if that means i don't have to go on a money chasE
i got some work lined up this week that ain't too unpalatablE
ripping off drywall, tearing down a sheD
its dirty and dusty, but i can smell the way i want to, remain grizzled, and be pretty much left alonE
i like jobs where clean laundry is not a prerequisitE
laundry is such a pain in the ass when you do it the cheap waY
i fill my sink with soapy water and laundry, let it soak, squeeze the soap thru it and rinse and squeeze some more, wringing it and letting it drip for awhile before carting it downstairs to the dryer that someone has thoughtfully broken into, rendering it free, if you know how to trip the coin mechanisM
its a feel thinG
laundry takes alot longer this way, but the price is righT
im sure my grip strength is improving from wringing the laundry so that if i ever shave and put on clean clothes and have my dream job interview they can be dutifully impressed by my firm handshakE
what is the chance of that happening, thO
besides, for my dream job i will decide whether to shave by choice, not compunctioN
so when i have this pocket full of cash i will hoard it like a miser and try to make it last as long as possible until the next cash aquisition opportunity arises that does not impose too high a tarriff on my dignity and artistic sensibilitieS
people should be happy that i show up at their stinky job anywaY
they'll have a good time laughing at my philosophizing as i toil for their filthy lucrE
one of my teachers in college hit the nail on the head when she said it looked like
"you did just enough to get by"
Just Enough To Slide .....sliding into the futurE
J.E.T.S.
sliding beats stressing out about things you cannot controL
sliding implies the slipperiness of our society and the lack of control that any individual has over the direction of his/her lifE
the best laid plans of mice and men and alL
and if even the best laid plans are subject to ruin then why bother planning at alL?
go with the flow, slide into the curve, something will come along to the patienT
something that doesnt consume ones daily hours with pointless exercises in some bloated capitalists wetdreaM
some kind of toil which is appreciated by both worker and employeR
some kind of labor which doesn't involve corporate or financial handcuffS
ive seen people in the golden handcuffS
making too much too quit, but incredibly unhappY
trading their lives for a fantasy, expenses increasing because thats how they enjoy their life, spending and consuming and isnt it wonderful until you have to go back to the salt mineS
buying the right car and home and wife and where does all the money gO?
have a kid or two and get a second joB?
no thankS
ill just chill out here for a bit, washing my clothes in my sink and tapping away at this machine until the right situation ariseS
i'll know because I won't choke on my bile as i collect my wageS
i'll know like my heart knew when i found those two perfect womeN
i'm doing my life by feel and it feels finE
just enough to slide
happily sliding by
and when maximum effort is required my reserves will be ready for the tasK
and i will engage more fully with life when that opportunity ariseS
as long as life doesnt try to call me on the phone with that opportunitY
my phone is always busY

my highschool girlfriend and i pulled into a cornfield in my parents woodgrained stationwagoN
it was gonna happeN
the tender words had been spokeN
the rubber was oN
and the a whole lot of embarrassing quiet and frustration ensueD
i suppose if i had been cool enough to drink at this time in my life it would not have been such a mentally castrating experiencE
and i suppose if i had gone back to the roller rink to meet the girl from boyertown and smoked and talked scarily technical precision about her sexual dynamism i wouldnt have been in this predicament anywaY
but she was scary, all her talk of "suction" and me all of 15 and scared shitless and avoiding the roller rink for a month after thaT
so there we were, two virgins in the back of a station wagon, no liqour involveD
two extremely smart people who could not figure out how tab A fit into slot B
see this was before mtv destroyed and sexualized a generatioN
this was before pornos were widely available and even socially acceptablE
and we were a couple of dumb kids who just couldnt couplE
but we trieD
at my graduation party in my barn three people came by to drink the quarter keg of beer my dad had thoughtfully provideD
we took a blanket down to the creek and gave it another shoT
same result on the scoreboard of sex that all men carry with theM
home 0, visitors 0
game called on account of incompetencE
but there was an added level of humiliation to this failed launching of my love rockeT
poison ivy from the waist dowN
I called her, she had it toO
i guess we slipped off the blankiE
i had to wear a bathrobe for two weeks, as the rubbing of the maddeningly itchy rash would spead it morE
i think we tried again in the back of my dads new orange pickup trucK
i remember saying "i wanted to prove how much i loved heR"
by proving inept in the love departmenT
o for three, unsurvivable by my tender ego and of course i couldnt talk about it sanely in reasoned toneS
her talk of my size didnt make me anyless a virgin, so it was basically over from then on iN
i guess if i had a tinier weiner i coulda squeezed it in, shoulda coulda woodA
shortly thereafter i recieved a cat turd wrapped in a pretty box with a card that said "for your sweet tooth"
this was after inventing a beach girlfriend to show her what a man i waS
this was before i went to college and was mortally embarrassed yet again by the girls in college who finally took me over the hump but thats a different thoughtstreaM
this one has petered ouT

heard a rumor of hard work and let it slide by me eas without asking for some for me on wednesday night before running aroung with the young men who play my gamE
i let it slide becasue i was a little offended the employer didnt call mE
hes an ex-rugger and poker buD
said he had work for me in the pasT
it never worked ouT
so i has a feminine moment for a couple dayS
i wallowed in the past and "why didnt he call me" and a"m i not able to meet his.. (work)... needs" as well as this pretty, younger thing here who so blithely is discussing earning HIS money, when we hasd a financial thing in the past which didnt work out, sure, but it still is painful to me especially in my time of need and the pretty young boy is already recieving unemployment anyway and doesnt need it as mucH
but by friday i was over iT
put the painful past behind and inquired about said worK
and loaded a dumpster and tore off wallpaper and got a much needed financial injection and the promise of more worK
which is swelL
im alerady considering blowing today ofF
its such a nice day outside, clear blue skieS
and i could claim to my new boss that my gash is throbbing, which is onlyu slightly a stretcH
the dumpster had pockets of emptiness and need to be piled moore efficiently so me and the big horse of a felll jumped in and buulled the steel desks and refrigerator around and tried to be mindful of the shower door glasS
the desk needed one quick manly shove and got it at the cost of a nicked fingeR
as i looked through the rugby med kit that for some reason is at this retired players house i kept noticing drops of bloood on everthing, the cut on may hand was more than a nick, but less than a gash, and i am sure i missed slicing the tendoNits right where the finger bends tho, so it kept opening up all day and throbbing and i guess i could make a medical reason for not working, but what kind of asshole needs work as much as i do and then starts finding ways not to go to worK
where is my protestant work ethiC
oh yeaH
im not a protestanT
so no work ethiC
THANSK ALOT MOM AND DAD
doomed to laziness by the religious choices of my parents and too lazy to find me a protestant woman to convert me i guess i am doomed to live my life out on this lowest rotting rung of capitalisM
well at least i finally have found the root of my slotH
now i can start to heaL
whats on tv todaY

like a frisky puppy not yet wise to the whole concept of a leasH
life yanked hard at me again this weeK
a poor metaphor in that I am an old doG
steadfastly refusing all manner of treat or enticement held in front of my nosE
new tricks unlearned due to stubbornesS
reluctantly performing the same old trickS
like scrambling for renT
stringing along the utilitieS
asking strangers for work on pieces of paper that no one will ever look aT

I actually am quite friskily looking forward to any joB
maybe ill have less than 7 w-2 forms next year at tax timE
i can feel a job, smell it in the air with my finely developed canine nosE
i just dont know what ill be doinG

the best job i ever had was one summer off from college taking and developing blueprints on microfilM
it was in a barn three miles from my homE
they mostly left me alonE
id get dropped off and then run home, sometimes taking the long way when i felt paricularly enegetiC
sometimes my fitness regimen would be interrupted halfway home or so when a girl who worked there would pull up and whistle at me and ask me if i wanted to get higH
talk about your no brainerS
she was the girl of a guy who lived up the hill from mE
a partieR
he beat me up one time after school, but i got him back ten years later by boning his girl in the backseat of her car after work two or three times a weeK
it got pretty tight in the back seat so the hood was also put into usE
what made it my best job was the time i lured her into the darkroom, turned the little red light on and coupled on the linoleum flooR
yes, i was paid for having seX
and at work sex is one of the best ways to spend your working daY
drunk or high at work is fun, but you worry about various smells on you and whether anyone knows or noticeS
quitting a job is the best, the last day before vacation is second, sex on the job is third then payday then being high or drunk and then in fifth place is the daily miracle of quitting time, followed closely by sleeping on the job and then right after that the satisfaction of doing a job well and the pride that wells in your chest as you enrich your corporate masters and economic betters thru your labors, serving as a vital cog in the glorious machine called commercE
"FRESH RAW HONEY!"
is what i would call to the crowd when i worked for clifford sunflower the beekeeper at a farmers marker on friday and saturday afternoonS
id say this as i stared and smiled at pretty girls walking by our stand, trying to make them notice my boyish charmS
and now i am beat and feeling olD
rugby with the youngsters has tired this old dog ouT
i like to run into them and throw the occaisional elboW
and it feels good whilst playing, but the knnes are creaky, the joints protestinG
and i aint that old yeT
what kind of idiot abuses his body like i have for twenty years with no tangible reward except the knowledge that you were a dominant physical presence on a field full of alpha maleS
the knowledge that you were partially responsible for the victory and the pains they will experience as their bruised bodies heal, bruises you cheerfully provided, free of chargE
i always was a giveR
oh good a tampon aD
on the tv and i can feel my brain dyinG
i must turn off the idoit box and go sleeP
say g'nite graciE

waiting for my muse in a dark alley with an aluminum bat

About Me

Monday, February 27, 2006

Sunday, February 26, 2006

Thursday, February 23, 2006

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

Monday, February 20, 2006

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Sunday, February 12, 2006

Friday, February 10, 2006

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

Monday, February 06, 2006

Sunday, February 05, 2006

Wednesday, February 01, 2006